Justice Tal ז"ל: A Giant of Justice and Mercy

The Jewish world lost a unique and special individual this week.  Justice Tzvi Tal, of blessed memory, was one of those rare individuals who truly embodied the dictum of the Gemara Yoma 86a:

Abaye said: “And you shall love the Lord your God”  –  you shall make the name of Heaven beloved. How? One should learn Torah and Mishna, serve Torah scholars, and be pleasant with people in one's business transactions. What do people say about such a person? Fortunate is his father who taught him Torah, fortunate is his teacher who taught him Torah, woe to the people who have not studied Torah. See how pleasant are his ways, how proper are his deeds. The verse states about him and others like him: “You are My servant, Israel in whom I will be glorified” (Isaiah 49:3).

Born as Tzvi Elimelech Teitelbaum to a Hassidic family in Poland, Justice Tal came to Eretz Yisrael at a young age. He loved Torah and general knowledge and supported himself through yeshiva high school by working part-time as a mechanic. After attending advanced yeshiva, serving in the Irgun and then the army (he fought in three wars), he went to law school and became a respected attorney. After some years he was asked to become a judge on the Jerusalem District Court. He considered that to be a judge in a non-Torah legal system may well be problematic, and spoke to several Rabbonim about it. The Lubavitcher Rebbe among others encouraged him to be a judge, but at the same time to increase his dedication to Torah by teaching a daily shiur. He considered a judge as doing God's work if done properly. Eventually, he rose to the pinnacle of the Israeli legal world, serving as the conscience of the Israeli Supreme Court as he occupied the “religious seat” for years. (He was often not happy about that; he felt sometimes as a fig leaf for many of the excesses of Aharon Barak’s aggressive Court). 

In his career as a judge, he sat on many important cases, and found himself often in the minority, especially when arguing for the more traditional position. The most famous judicial panel that he sat on was the trial of John Demjanjuk שר"י , who may or may not have been “Ivan the Terrible”, but certainly was, at minimum, an accessory to 28,000 murders at Sobibor. 

The judge was best known for heading the eponymous commission that came up with the “Tal Law”; a compromise that he enabled by meeting Roshei Yeshiva with the utmost respect, fashioning an arrangement that reasonable people on both sides could live with. As he put it, “Take away the Torah, and what will be left of us? A small, and unimportant people with a sub-American culture. We are on the stage of history only thanks to the Torah, the Mishnah, the Talmud - the great contribution of the Jewish people. Not only religiously but also nationally. This is the core of our identity. But only some are engaged in Torah as their full occupation, many others just hang out in Yeshivot. Those must go to the army or serve the public like everyone else. " Although it was later overturned, the Yeshiva world remained grateful to him for doing what he could to protect serious Torah scholars.

One must arrive at the correct legal decision. But one must never forget to also arrive at Tzedek – the fair and ethical truth.  One must use not only Midat HaDin but also Midat HaRachamim (not only justice but mercy).  L’fnim MShurat Hadin.

I knew him, however, in a different light. Growing up in Bayit Vegan and visiting my parents' home frequently, I would see Justice Tal very often at the Sochatchov shtibel where he attended shiurim, gave a daily Mishnayos shiur, and was the best Ba'al Keri'ah that I have ever heard. He radiated a quiet dignity and wisdom, and was a walking Kiddush Hashem for his excellence in Torah and Derech Eretz, as he commanded universal respect for his deep integrity and fearlessness.

However, as is too often the case, I learned much more about him in the news stories that appeared after his passing, and my appreciation has grown exponentially. I saw an interview in which he shared how difficult he found it to send anyone to jail. It reminded me of a Gemara that I learned this week (Bava Metzia 30b) in which Rav Yochanan taught that the reason Jerusalem was destroyed was because they judged according to Torah Law. This obviously strange statement was explained by the Gemara to mean that they judged by the strict letter of the law and did not engage in L’fnim MShurat Hadin (Going beyond strict justice.) As Justice Tal said, "Of course one must arrive at the correct legal decision. But one must never forget to also arrive at Tzedek – the fair and ethical truth.  One must use not only Midat HaDin but also Midat HaRachamim (not only justice but mercy).  L’fnim MShurat Hadin.

When sentencing even those whose guilt was beyond doubt, his hand would shake while signing the sentencing decree; he would ask their forgiveness for having to do this. A convict whom he sent to prison for fifteen years, published a message expressing his heartbreak at the judge’s passing. The judge would make a point of visiting him at least once a year to inquire after his welfare. In fact, he did this for all those whom he sentenced to a long term, even those who would not forgive him nor shake his hand when he came to see them. On one occasion, this prisoner asked the judge to help watch over his helpless wife and young children, which the judge did for many years. Another ex-con related “the judge changed my life. Today I earn an honest living and am a grandfather. Every few months I called the judge at his request to let him know how I am doing. While I was still incarcerated, my son had a Bar mitzvah – the judge arranged and paid for everything, and refused to let me acknowledge him as he sat unobtrusively at a side table . . . can you believe such a man existed?

His son related that he fasted on the day that he sentenced Demjanjuk to death (later overturned by the Supreme Court). “Do you know what an awesome responsibility it is to take another life, even a monster like Demjanjuk? One cannot just sit down to a breakfast of scrambled eggs and then send a man to death . . . “ His son – who saw him cry many times when reading Eicha – wondered how he could not cry when listening to the survivors talk about their horrible experiences. “It took enormous self-control, but I have a job to do and I have to keep my personal feelings to myself.”

He maintained his integrity and was universally respected by all – Secular, Dati Leumi, and Chareidi alike. One story related to his regular attendance at the Daf Yomi in the shtibel, where the regulars would be unlikely to stand in silence for the siren on Yom HaZikaron, especially if it was sounded during a shiur. He, of course, not only had the highest respect for the fallen soldiers in general; he had given the ultimate sacrifice of his son Moshe הי"ד in a battle during the Yom Kippur war. He told a friend that to not attend the shiur was unthinkable. But a few minutes before the siren, he went out as if he had to take care of some matter, stood at attention during the siren thinking of Moshe and his comrades, and then went back to his Gemara. Without fanfare or arguments, he knew how to do the right thing resolutely with quiet integrity.

One of my great regrets is that I never really had a conversation with him although I often wished him Good Shabbos. I was simply too much in awe and did not know what to say that did not sound small and insignificant. I will greatly miss seeing this giant small man, who embodied everything a great Torah Im Derech Eretz Jew should be.

Woe to us for those who are no longer, and there is none like one them to replace them.

חבל דאבדין ולא משתכחין

Published in the Jewish Press July 2, 2021

A Government Not for the Sake of Heaven

Ah, Politics.  The national pastime of Israel – everyone has an opinion; a nation of prime ministers as the old Golda Meir line goes.  After four elections in the past two years, one would think we are inured to really worrying about the outcome, or lack thereof.  But this time around, an earthquake is happening, and it is deeply worrying.

In this week’s Parshat Hashavua, we read about the sorry tale of Korach.  The Mishna in Pirkei Avot (5:17) famously offers the arguments between Hillel and Shammai as a prototype of an “Argument for the Sake of Heaven”, while the protagonists of an “Argument Not for the Sake of Heaven” are Korach and his conspirators.  A question asked by many is why does the Mishna cite “Korach and his conspirators”?  Surely, the negative parallel case to Hillel and Shammai ought to have been Korach and Moshe! 

A famous answer given by the Malbim is that a sine qua non of an “Argument for the Sake of Heaven” is that each side represents a unified view of truth, unified on an important principle.  In the case of Korach, however, we find that he brought together a motley crew of different people with disparate interests.  Korach wanted to be the Kohen Gadol.  The 250 who joined were disgruntled bechoros who were enraged that they were supplanted by the tribe of Levi. Dassan and Aviram were long-time antagonists of Moshe. On be Peles – it isn’t clear what he wanted.  The only thing that bound them together was a determination to attack the authority of Moshe and affect a change of leadership.  As Rabbi Dr Jonathan Sacks zt”l put it, “The groups had nothing in common except that they each wanted to be leaders. Each of them wanted a more important or respected position than they currently held. In a word, they wanted power. This was an argument not for the sake of heaven.”

The parallels to the proposed “unity government” that – barring a miracle -- will be sworn in could not be clearer. The group is made up of those whose views and agenda represent the farthest left – Meretz and Labor—those that claim to be on the right – Yamina, New Hope, Yisrael Beiteinu – and those in the Center – Yesh Atid, Blue and White.  As with Korach, they are united by one thing, and one thing only – hatred, jealousy, and animus towards one of the greatest Prime Ministers in the history of the State of Israel, Benjamin Netanyahu.

The price of joining together? They are proposing to 

• Remove corrupt politicians from power, by installing the corrupt Liberman as Finance Minister

• Do away with the “blackmail” of the Haredim and instead grant more than 50 Billion Shekels to the Arabs

• Reject the “homophobe” Ben Gvir , while agreeing to the Arab demand to stop the advancement of the LBTQ agenda

• Stand for the principles of Democracy while installing a Prime Minister whose party has only six seats; seats that he won by explicitly promising that he would not join such a government.

• Stand for the principle of Law and Order while agreeing in advance to legitimize tens of thousands of homes built illegally by the Arabs.

Central to making this work, is the inclusion of the Ra’am party, headed by Mansour Abbas.  This is a particularly difficult pill to swallow.  To be honest, two months ago, when there was a discussion of how Netanyahu might succeed in forming a coalition, I was amongst those on the right who were in favor of having the support of Abbas.  Living in Israel, especially in the Galilee, I have worked with, been treated and served by and interacted and even become friendly with many Arabs.  Particularly in the course I took to become a tour guide, I found that there are many Arabs (Muslim and Christian) who are good people, interested in living with Israel in peace, and who do not support the efforts of the Arab terrorists to harm us.  It seemed to me that what I was hearing from Mansour Abbas, as opposed to Ahmed Tibi and other awful Arab leaders, represented these moderate Arabs. He seemed interested only in promoting the civil rights, education, and welfare of peaceful Arabs, and it was good to have their support if that is it what it took to form a right-wing government.  When Smotrich and Ben Gvir (whom I am proud to have voted for) warned that they could not be trusted, I questioned this stance.

And then came the recent mini-war.  And the terrible pogroms that took place in Lod, Acco, and other mixed cities, coupled with terrible lynches in Jerusalem and elsewhere.  As a seasoned politician, Abbas said the politically correct things to the western press. He even came to visit the site of the shul torched during the pogrom in Lod.  But to his Arab audience, he supported those who fought in the streets and refused to discuss the security issues until the fighting stopped.  He praised the hooligans who fought in the streets as the best of our young people. And I understood and appreciated the position of Smotrich and Ben Gvir –until and unless Abbas publicly disassociates himself from his previously stated positions in favor of terrorists and Jihad, and demonstrated true loyalty to the Jewish state, he cannot be relied on to be part of the government.

This “Korach problem”, of banding together to silence others and destroy their leadership, is of course not limited to Israel (i.e. the banding together of so many disparate parties to destroy President Trump), nor is it limited to the world of politics. Again to quote Rabbi Sacks, “I believe that what is happening at universities, turning the pursuit of truth into the pursuit of power, silencing, demonizing and no-platforming those with whom people disagree, is the Korach phenomenon of our time, and it is very dangerous indeed. An old Latin motto says that to secure justice, audi alteram artem, 'Listen to the other side.' It is through listening to the other side that we walk the path to truth."

In a few weeks we will once again be experiencing Tisha B’Av, and reflecting on the famous story of Kamtza and Bar Kamtza. A famous question is often asked: why does the Gemara blame Kamtza for what happened?  After all, the bad actors were Bar Kamtza and the anonymous host, not Kamtza, who does not appear at all in the story!  The Maharal explains that the Churban happened because of the insane hatred that Kamtza shared with the host against Bar Kamtza, to the point that they were unwilling to associate with Bar Kamtza, no matter the cost.  Similar to Korach, these were two people united only because of a common enemy, and thus Kamtza shares the blame as well.

Let us hope that by the time Tisha B’Av comes around, the powers that be in Israel come to their senses and – unlike Korach and Kamtza – will be willing to get past their personal animus before a far greater tragedy unfolds.

 

Lag B’Omer 5781: United in Sorrow?

Dateline: Friday morning, Lag B’Omer, Tzfat (May 31)

Last night, long before the disaster happened, I basked in my curmudgeonly smugness. We came to Tzfat for the holiday weekend as my wife and kids excitedly anticipated joining the hundreds of thousands in a long night of singing and dancing in honor of Rav Shimon Bar Yochai in nearby Meron.  Although Lonni tried valiantly to get me to join her, I was quite content to sit on my mechutan’s mirpeset (balcony) in Tzfat and look at the lights of Meron across the valley.  I generally do not like endless singing and dancing; I wonder what the revelers are thinking about and how much it really has to do with Ahavas Hashem.  I question how it connects with the rather severe personality of Rav Shimon that we meet in the Gemara.  Maybe it is my nature as a Yekke or a cynic – I felt little connection to the crowds that I was grateful to avoid.

And then, shortly after midnight, I heard a siren.  And another.  And then another, growing in intensity and frequency.  Having lived in Israel during the Intifada, I immediately worried whether a terrorist incident had occurred. Then, the flashing red lights appeared – all along the winding road from Meron to Tzfat.  And the phone call arrived – an acquaintance on a bus to Meron was told that their bus would be making a U-Turn, a tragedy had happened in Meron and no one would be allowed to enter.

As news of the extent and nature of the catastrophe trickled in, worry for my wife and kids and grandchildren grew stronger, abetted by the overwhelmed phone system that shut down all communication.  Soon, however, we were able to communicate via WhatsApp, and I was grateful to know they were unharmed, although a very long night still awaited them.

More hours of waiting, checking news, contemplating present and future, saying some tehillim, and listening to the unending wail of ambulances headed to Ziv Medical center passed – but I felt that there was something very missing for me.  Until I opened a message forwarded from a woman named BatSheva Sadan. Here is an English adaptation:

A moment after I breathed a sigh of relief when I found out that all my children were fine – I started crying.

I cried for my brief feeling of happiness and relief that this was the disaster of others; not my disaster. I cried for the sigh of relief that I was not one of the terrified mothers desperate to know the fate of their loved ones. I cried realizing how I had differentiated myself from dozens of families whose lives have changed, who will now carry a never-ending pain. 

On this special day – when we supposedly have completed internalizing the message of the plague decimating the disciples of Rabbi Akiva for not practicing this teaching of their great Rebbi – I realized that we still do not understand anything.

I cried as I realized how far I was from actualizing the mitzvah “Love your fellow as yourself”.On this special day – when we supposedly have completed internalizing the message of the plague decimating the disciples of Rabbi Akiva for not practicing this teaching of their great Rebbi – I realized that we still do not understand anything. I still see us as separate, I still do not physically and emotionally feel pain that is not mine

We have had so many God-given opportunities to understand that only through unity and togetherness can we grow and rebuild from disasters and crises. From the terrible Holocaust to this Corona year; enduring so much war, terror, and hard struggle for our very existence, and yet we are still so separated.  We ought to feel unity, no matter whether religious or secular, liberal or conservative, rich or poor.  Tragically, however, we are divided politically, religiously, socially, and in so many subtle ways that seem unsurmountable. It is certainly fine to have different shades, sounds, styles and colors; but when will we learn to put these together into a light-filled unified tapestry?

In these moments that families are still looking for their loved ones and we all share their prayers, I want to hope that when we light candles tonight, there will be this special moment where we can look at the flames and see how the many shades that create great light. Let us reflect then on the souls of the people with us yesterday and no longer here. Let us feel for one moment that these are our sons; for one moment may we feel deep inside that we belong to something great and sublime, to a strong and painful nation that is slowly marching together towards redemption.

How small and petty I feel while reflecting on my attitude only a few hours ago.  How much do I need to work on my Ahavat Yisrael, on humility, and acceptance of others?  How far am I from truly being an Ohev Yisrael?

The Mitzvah “Love Your Fellow as Yourself” is actually quite difficult.  In truth, virtually no one loves anyone as much as they love themselves (unless they are clinically depressed). But, as Rav Samson R Hirsch notes, the commandment is not phrased as וְאָהַבְתָּ אֵת רֵעֲךָ כָּמוֹךָ, love your fellow, but rather וְאָהַבְתָּ לְרֵעֲךָ כָּמוֹךָ, which means “love to your fellow”.  Anything that relates “to your fellow”, we should treat as if it were happening to ourselves.  We should treat them as we would wish to be treated.  We should be as concerned about what happens to our fellow as we are for what happens to ourselves.  Or as Hillel put it, “That which is hateful to you, do not do to your fellow”.  That is doable, and achievable if we truly attempt it.  And it includes being tolerant of the styles, desires, and quirks of others, and appreciating that they might enjoy things that one does not share. And certainly, it includes feeling and sharing their pain and their happiness, to the extent we possibly can.

Finally, it includes going beyond one’s nature – one of the great lessons of Rav Shimon Bar Yochai. Space does not permit a full discussion, but Rav Shimon emerged from a dozen years in a cave a changed man.  He became tolerant and appreciative of simple non-scholarly people who expressed their love of Hashem in different ways than his own.  He looked to help the society around him and contribute constructively to solve community problems rather than exclusively focusing on his own spiritual growth and learning.

May we know no more sorrow, and may Lag B’Omer transform again into a day of unbridled joy, even for us curmudgeons.

Being Silenced is not Golden

The last two weeks have been excruciating for Trump voters.

Virtually all major media, the intelligentsia, all the Democrats, and even many Republicans tell us that the man we supported for President is guilty of "sedition." That he led an "insurrection" in an "attempted coup" or "putsch" that sought to destroy democracy in America.  We are guilty by association with cretins wearing "Camp Auschwitz" shirts who attacked the high citadel of America. We should cower in silence and shame over the travesty and horror that we aided and abetted. We must be fired from our jobs, cast out of polite society, and have our social media accounts shut down.  Even more so, if we dare to continue asserting that there were serious questions about the election that were never properly resolved.  In fact, all such claims have been thoroughly “debunked”; all the lawsuits Trump’s team brought were tossed out of court for lack of evidence.  Senators Cruz and Hawley, who (while denouncing the rioters in the strongest terms) persisted in objecting to the certification of the elections, should be thrown out of office and perhaps charged with sedition.

Moreover, as religious Jews, we are being scolded that we ought to be ashamed of ourselves for supporting such a monster – whom the smart people knew all along was the second coming of Hitlerימ"ש .  We should engage in a cheshbon hanefesh (personal spiritual accounting) for the terrible 'חילול ה (desecration of G-d’s honor) that we caused by advocating for such an obvious degenerate.  We must hang our heads in shame before the wiser, all-knowing liberals who always knew that Joe Biden and the Democrats were morally superior. After all, they have long been warning us that Trump is a rabble-rousing, incompetent, corrupt, arrogant white supremacist who has now proved to be the greatest imaginable danger to America and the world. We must submit to the silencing of our voices and accept our deserved lot as defeated and "canceled," while our political opponents use their now unbridled power to change America forever.

I believe that it is crucial for us – the 71 million who voted for Donald Trump and against Joe Biden – to refuse to allow ourselves to be written off due to the awful actions of a RELATIVELY tiny bunch of criminals.  (They were only one or two percent of those who came to the Trump rally, let alone the many millions who were not there at all.) Those misguided morons did so much damage – not so much to the United States – but primarily to Trump supporters and the legacy of Trump himself.  It is crucial that 70 million-plus people not feel that their voice has been stolen from them – which is exactly what the left is now trying to do in every possible way. 

I fully recognize that as an independent person living in Israel, I have the luxury of being able to speak my mind freely.  Was I still employed as the Rabbi of an American synagogue; I would undoubtedly be pressured to not publish this essay for fear of the repercussions to the congregation. (Even so, I must think twice about publishing this essay as it will possibly discourage people in the future from using my services as a tour guide, if they still remember this when COVID is finally over). But the truth does not die.  And those forced to be silent will not accept their lot forever.

This week we read Parshat Bo, in which the Exodus from Egypt comes to a crescendo.  As a symbol of freedom, the Israelites were instructed to bring the Pesach offering, with great Mesirut Nefesh (self-sacrifice).  In many places, the Hasidic literature quotes the teaching of the Ari z"l, based on the Holy Zohar, that the word Pesach is a conjunction of the words Peh and Sach – a mouth that speaks.  One of the most painful injuries suffered in Egypt (and later in many other terrible times such as the Holocaust) was that the victims were rendered mute, unable to express themselves.  Unable to express their pain, forced to bear their suffering, they could not cry out and protest for fear of making their lot even worse.  (We all know of survivors who, for years after their trauma, were still unable to talk of their suffering).  At the time of Pesach, their mouths were freed.  Indeed, on Pesach, we have the mitzvah to talk and to talk, to communicate to our children; to tell our story as an expression of freedom. Indeed, כל המרבה לספר ביציאת מצרים הרי זה משובח, the more that we talk about it, the better.

We must stand for respectful ways to disagree when necessary.  We must demand that reasonable voices on all sides deserve to be heard, and that all have the opportunity for freedom of speech and expression, providing that it is not an explicit call for violence.

We must refuse to be silenced.  We cannot let the guilty few steal our self-respect, nor accept the twisting of the truth to dismiss our legitimacy. We must hold our heads high, knowing that the tragic events of January 6th changed NOTHING about what we believe to be true. We cannot let those hypocrites – who for months and years excused and even praised the many violent protests BLM and Antifa, who repeatedly called for and engaged in acts of violence against their political foes – lecture us with their selective, newfound outrage. We must stand for respectful ways to disagree when necessary.  We must demand that reasonable voices on all sides deserve to be heard, and that all have the opportunity for freedom of speech and expression, providing that it is not an explicit call for violence.

This essay cannot fully present the many powerful counterarguments to the charges of the left.  Nevertheless, a few things must be stated.

Millions of people are not convinced that the election of Joe Biden was legitimate and proper. Contrary to the oft-repeated lie, the vast majority of the courts did NOT rule on election fraud evidence.  Rather, virtually every case held either that Trump’s advocates had no standing to bring the lawsuit (as in the US SupremeCourt) or failure to file in a timely manner (the ruling in the Pennsylvania Supreme Court). Thus, the many bad acts that were testified to by the thousands (mail trucks of fake ballots delivered, suitcases of ballots being brought out after hours, ballots of the dead and missing, keeping observers far away thus rendering them useless, etc.) were never presented in court.  The constitutional arguments that the courts changed election laws rather than by the legislature were never given a fair hearing. The recounting of possibly fraudulent ballots with the envelopes that might have proven fraud was never done.

Did President Trump act improperly in the lead-up and during the riot at the Capitol?  In short, yes.

·      He was wrong to demand that Vice President Pence overturn the certification.  The Twelfth amendment grants the Vice President no such right; it is purely a ceremonial role.  By contrast, the Senators and Congressmen DO have a right – and even duty – to object if they conclude that the election should not be certified.  (If they have no such right, the twelfth amendment is entirely valueless.) However, the President was wrong to pressure his Vice President to overturn the vote and wrong to mock him for not doing so.

·      Immediately upon hearing that things had gone awry at the Capitol, the President should have forcefully sent a message for the rioters to leave the building and stand down.   He should have known that his message – which was directed primarily not to the rioters but to the hundreds of thousands who had come to the rally – “Go home, we love you … Go home in peace” would be misconstrued by his enemies (and by some of the rioters). They would claim that he supported the violence, though he specifically said the opposite (“Go home now, we have to have peace, have to have law and order, we have to respect our great people in law and order, we don’t want anyone hurt”)

·      He should not have engaged in personal verbal attacks against his political foes, which unduly raised passions in the crowd.  (This is not a new criticism of Trump; I believe that had he not engaged in this behavior during the disastrous first debate with Biden, he would have won the election hands down.)  He, and the hundreds of thousands who came to support him, were right to exercise their first amendment rights to protest and voice their concerns.  However, he erred in turning up the temperature to make it a personal fight against evil.  The extremists on the far right (like the extremists on the far left) did not need much motivation to commit acts of violence.  Less violently than  BLM'sactions and other militants on the left for the past four years, the extremist morons of the right (many of whom are as anti-semitic as the extremist morons on the left) engaged in very damaging behavior that was foreseeable.  (In fact, there is growing evidence that most of those who broke windows and entered the Capitol were anti-Trump Antifa activists, who planned a false flag operation to make Trump and his supporters look bad). I believe that most of those who entered the Capitol were just regular law-abiding people caught up in a mob mentality and followed the crowd where they should not have.

Was the second impeachment thus called for?  Many argued that all these together added up to an impeachable offense; perhaps they are right.  Nevertheless, impeaching the President one week before the end of his term and slandering his behavior as having engaged in sedition, insurrection, and treason was an act of political vindictiveness that sought only to silence him and his supporters forever, as described earlier.

The truth is that although Mr. Trump’s actions on January 6th are rightly criticized, we were right to support a president who – despite unending hostility, enmity, and attacks since the day he was nominated – managed to accomplish a great deal of good for the United States. I did not vote for him in 2016 (neither did I vote for Hillary).  But he earned my vote in 2020, despite his personal flaws, for his many important accomplishments, and for standing up against the bullies of the left.  He restored much sanity to America’s economy, foreign policy, and national pride.  He appointed excellent judges who will leave their mark for a long time.  He restored much balance taken away by the radical left (which they are now trying to grab back).  And, of course, he was the best friend Israel ever had in the White House.

We also voted against a man with substantial ethical and competence questions hanging over him that the mainstream press kept from the citizenry.  We also fear that much of the good that was done under the Trump administration will be undone, both foreign and domestic.

It is an epic tragedy that the Trump presidency ended this way.   Perhaps his behavior can be understood as having snapped after the relentless opposition pushed him past his breaking point – not many people would have been able to continue functioning on such a high level under such relentless attack for so long.

I hope that President Biden will somehow have the wisdom not to attempt to use these circumstances to silence his political foes, as  Congress's radicals are demanding.  Pesach teaches us that being robbed of the ability to speak goes against our basic human nature, and it will not last.  Let us hope that the very divided country will find healing rather than the frightful prospect of hot or cold civil war. Let us be at the vanguard of helping in the healing – not by submitting to the excesses of the left – but by confidently holding by our convictions while respectfully engaging with our ideological foes.

Chaya Leah (Harriet) Oppenheimer: A painful loss

This week I had the tragic privilege of delivering a hesped eulogizing my dear departed mother, Chaya Leah (Harriet) Oppenheimer of blessed memory, הריני כפרת משכבה, in front of her home in Bayit Vegan. Some people have asked me if I could write down what I said; here it is, [with some further reflection over the last few days of Shiva]:

We have known this day was coming, and it was coming sooner rather than later, for some time now, as Mom became more and more ill. For the last few years, Mom has been in a slow but steady decline and suffered various health and hearing problems that made her life most difficult.

While thinking about my mother's life, especially her final great act of chessed, I recalled a famous verse. When the elderly Boaz realized that Rus wanted to marry him and perpetuate the memory of her late husband, Boaz said:

וַיֹּאמֶר בְּרוּכָה אַתְּ לַה' בִּתִּי הֵיטַבְתְּ חַסְדֵּךְ הָאַחֲרוֹן מִן הָרִאשׁוֹן לְבִלְתִּי לֶכֶת אַחֲרֵי הַבַּחוּרִים אִם דַּל וְאִם עָשִׁיר

He exclaimed, “Be blessed of Hashem, daughter! Your latest deed of kindness is greater than the first, in that you have not turned to younger men, whether poor or rich. (Ruth 3:10).

Mom was indeed "Blessed of Hashem." Moreover, the "latest (or final) deed of kindness" she gave to us was incredibly appreciated.  

As she lay in the hospital, the doctors repeatedly warned us that the end was near.  Almost two weeks ago, we gathered, and I said goodbye to her, knowing that I would probably not see her again.

But we had a Simcha coming up – the wedding of my daughter Diti.  We hoped against hope that Mom would allow the Simcha to take place unabated, as she enjoyed such a special relationship with Diti and was so impressed with Yitzi at their one meeting.  I don't even want to speculate how difficult it would have been for everyone if Mom had not held out till now. 

Tonight, the final night of Sheva Brachos, the Chosson and Kallah bentched, and then came straight to the funeral. She waited so that the simcha would be undisturbed, and now it is time for her long suffering to end. We are so extremely grateful to Hakadosh Baruch Hu, and to Mom, for this final gift, and of course for the long life that enabled her to be with us for so long.

[During the Shiva, Rav Chaim Suissa (may he blessed for all the help he has given us) related a comment from Rav Mordechai Eliyahu זצ"ל. The Rav reflected on the famous list in the third chapter of Koheles, in which Shlomo Hamelech relates that there is a time and a season for all things. It is noteworthy that almost all of the items are introduced with the letter Lamed, as in:

עֵת לָלֶדֶת וְעֵת לָמוּת עֵת לָטַעַת וְעֵת לַעֲקוֹר נָטוּעַ...

But there is one pair that comes without a Lamed

עֵת סְפוֹד וְעֵת רְקוֹד

A time for wailing and a time for dancing

Rav Eliyahu said that this is because often - perhaps always - these are not separate times, but simultaneous times.  At the very same time that we are wailing and eulogizing in this world, they are dancing at the arrival of this precious Neshama in the next world. Furthermore, just as we experienced this week, the time of crying and the time of dancing sometimes come together.  Such is the circle of life; we must learn to live with conflicting emotions at the same time.]

So, I started gathering thoughts for this at least a week ago.

Last Shabbos was Parshas Noach, which brought to mind my father's ז"ל quip that it contains a verse tailored for our family, given that his name was Noach (Avraham) and her name was Chaya:

וַיִּזְכֹּר אֱלֹהִים אֶת נֹחַ וְאֵת כָּל הַחַיָּה וְאֶת כָּל הַבְּהֵמָה אֲשֶׁר אִתּוֹ בַּתֵּבָה...

And Hashem remembered Noach, and the Chaya (beasts) and all the animals (Bereishis 8:1)

And, of course, the "animals" was a reference to all of us kids.  

She good-naturedly put up with that humor for years. It was actually a typical comment for our family and how my parents brought us up – with Mom being at the very center of it – serious matters were often mixed with fun and wit and joy, and we learned to give both their due. It was an indication of the special connection between my parents.

We move on to the next week and Parshas Lech Lecha. At the beginning, Avraham was instructed to leave his parents' home. I left my parents' home quite a long time ago. Baruch Hashem, I have lived in many places, done many things – I have even become a grandparent many times over, and most of my sisters are way ahead of me. But at a certain level, one is always one's mother's little boy, and this was always my home.

It has been so for the almost fifty years that my parents lived here. For my dear sisters, brothers-in-law and all of our children and grandchildren – (over 120 of her descendants); we have always felt that we had another home at 12 Hida Street. And, of course, Mom was the family heart and center, and this home was where it all came together.

Now we have to face the fact – with Mom lying in front of us ready for her final journey – that this era has come to an end; our parents' home is no longer. We have to leave this home, for good. We are now orphans, who will have to Lech Lecha – go forward and make it on our own, without my parents' love and support in whatever the uncertain future holds in store for us.

When I was thinking of what to say about Mom, I discovered that although I have given many Hespedim – and in this case, I knew this nifteres better than all the others I was maspid – it was a hard task as I struggled with what to say. At a surface level, Mom appeared to be just a simple, nondescript, mother and housewife. She had no "career", was not an academic, nor an intellectual – although she was very bright and well-read – she had a very simple quality to her, which was part of what made her so endearing. She was plain-spoken and straightforward. Nevertheless, everyone who knew her knew that she was truly remarkable.

Mom came from a simple background. Abba always called her, among other things, "the Girl from Brooklyn." She attended public school, loved to sing and dance (especially the Jitterbug), adored the Marx Brothers, Tommy Dorsey, "Frankie" (Sinatra) and Broadway, was an intense fan of the Brooklyn Dodgers, had many friends and much fun in her social circles – a very American childhood. This might have led her – like most of her peers and many relatives – to a far less observant life.

But besides her special parents, a preeminent influence in her life was her Bubby – Chasha (Annie) Rosenthal, whom she adored and revered.

Now is not the time to talk about Bubby Rosenthal. She was a remarkable person who did enormous chessed, including bringing over many people desperate to leave Europe, and engaged in much self-sacrifice for Shemiras Shabbos and Yiddishkeit. Mom idolized her Bubby and always thought of her as an ideal person to emulate.

Over the last few decades, I was fascinated to watch how she developed herself into becoming the quintessential Bubby to so many people, within and outside the family. Many, many people, particularly those who came from a less observant family, saw in her a welcoming and loving Bubby who accepted, loved, and inspired them, and with whom they could feel at home, and joyous and happy to bask in their Yiddishkeit. A wonderful Bubby who represented the Torah and Mesorah and the glory of Jewish motherhood.

She accomplished that in a life in which she rose to meet great challenges.  

One great challenge happened when she was 24 years old. Spending a weekend in the Catskills on Labor Day '55, she met this striking man, whom, she soon found out, was divorced, with two teen-aged children, a foreigner with a German accent, (she had no idea what a "Yekke" was), and – to top it off – was 42 years old, eighteen years older than her. 

But she saw something deep and special in him and decided almost immediately that he was the one. Her parents, friends, and relatives thought she had lost her mind, but she informed them that she was marrying him over their objections. To come back to the verse in Ruth:

לְבִלְתִּי לֶכֶת אַחֲרֵי הַבַּחוּרִים אִם דַּל וְאִם עָשִׁיר

in that you have not turned to younger men

She left Brooklyn, moved to Washington Heights, and then Monsey, and began a far more Jewishly intensive life with her husband and children.

A decade later, Monsey presented her next great challenge.

Mom loved living in Monsey.  We had a spacious home on an acre of land, with a beautiful garden and a swimming pool.  She developed life-long friendships with local women – to this day, some of her closest friendships were those she made in Monsey.  She loved the suburban living, the fresh air, and the beautiful surroundings.  

Moreover, Mom took on an important role as president of the Yeshiva of Spring Valley's women's league.  While this was not so good for me as I would frequently meet her while in detention in the principal's office, Mom devoted countless hours and tremendous energy to running programs, fundraisers, bazaars, bingo games, PTA, and many other activities for the growing school.  She was well respected and much loved and would have been happy to spend the rest of her life there.

However, Eretz Yisrael called strongly to my father.  He longed to return to the Holy Land, which he had unwillingly left thirty years before in 1940, and implored my mother to consider Aliyah.  She loved the few months that she had spent in the Land during their honeymoon. But by then, leaving Monsey, her culture, her friends, and her family was a huge sacrifice for her.  Nevertheless, as a dutiful wife knowing that Abba desperately wanted this, they sold the business and the home and she set off for Yerushalayim.

Her first number of years in Israel were very difficult.  She did not (and never did) speak Hebrew. An alien culture, environment, and climate presented significant challenges.  She found it hard to adapt to living in a far smaller home with no back yard, unable to drive and cut off from the community activities that she missed.

But she took pride in Abba's development as a talmid chacham, with strong and deep relationships with Gedolim such as Rav Shlomo Zalman Auerbach זצ"ל and an incredibly close friendship with Rav Yehoshua Neuwirth זצ"ל.  She delighted in her children's  – and then grandchildren – deepening commitment to a profoundly intensive Torah lifestyle. When he got older, she would drive him (and several of his chaveirim) to their daily Daf Yomi shiur. She came to love and appreciate Bayit Vegan and the Torah community and that the family had spiritually moved far beyond even the best of times in Monsey, and would tell anyone that Aliyah was the best move that they could have made. 

Furthermore, Mom did so much to further Torah in Bayit Vegan, over and beyond being so supportive of her children's growth. She volunteered in several organizations, notably at Shaarei Zedek hospital.  Mom attended as many shiurim as possible and loved to read and discuss Torah.  One shiur that she attended in Bayit Vegan was given by Rav Yehoshua Freilich שליט"א; when that shiur needed a new home, it was moved to 12 Hida St for many years until Corona put in on hold. And her davening – she would spend hours davening daily, and as the precious Bubby, had all of her many children, grandchildren, and great-grandchildren in mind, and tried to mention them all when lighting Shabbos candles.

But it was not all earnestness and seriousness.  Mom was best known for her sunny disposition and good humor. During the shiva, person after person remarked on how she made them feel good and comfortable, how easy it was to talk to her, and how they loved being with her and in her presence.  We had tremendous fun with her as she responded to Abba's and our crazy antics and she knew how to give us just the right look and laugh with us while also knowing how to switch back to more serious matters.  She was able to overlook slights and focus on strengthening relationships and making everyone around her better for knowing her.

She was a wonderful wife and a tower of strength for Abba.  After his disastrous first marriage, she took him from a very low point, helped him rebuild his confidence and dignity, and was largely responsible for the amazing father that we all love and miss so much.

She was a wonderful mother and pillar of support for all of us. 

She gave us strength, helped us believe in our potential, and did her best to help us through challenging life moments.  She always appeared with style and elegance, and radiated dignity, and tried to pass that on to us (with limited success for me).  And she appreciated whatever we did for her, large and small, teaching us the values of service and gratitude.

In the last few years, Mom's illnesses and hearing challenges made her life very difficult.  She rarely complained and tried her best to cope with a very difficult existence that got progressively worse.  She abhorred self-pity; a favorite quote of hers was "Getting old is not for sissies". She did her best to hide her pain and greet her visitors as cheerfully as possible.

Nevertheless, she required a great deal of help.  Our profound thanks go to her wonderful friends – notably Jeanette Meyer, Faige Morgenstern, Malka Stern, David and Shira Kahn, amongst many others – for keeping her spirits up.  We have tremendous gratitude to her attendants Annabelle and Archie, who so selflessly and lovingly dedicated themselves to her care, going far above and beyond their call of duty.  Endless thanks go to our dear friends and neighbors Miriam and Efraim Goldschmidt,  who helped in innumerable ways for many years, especially the last few years.

Most of all, words do not begin to be adequate to express the tremendous thanks I have to my amazing sisters. Busy with their own hectic lives, they selflessly devoted themselves to taking care of Mom's needs, devoting endless hours daily to making her life as comfortable as possible. It is they who kept her in her home and out of an institution in her declining years and saw to it that for the 18 years since Abba's passing, Mom was never alone for Shabbos.

May her memory be a blessing for all of us, as we come to appreciate more and more what we no longer have, as we long to reunite someday when 

בִּלַּע הַמָּוֶת לָנֶצַח וּמָחָה ה' אלוקים דִּמְעָה מֵעַל כָּל פָּנִים

 וְחֶרְפַּת עַמּוֹ יָסִיר מֵעַל כָּל הָאָרֶץ כִּי ה' דִּבֵּר

He will destroy death forever. May Hashem will wipe the tears away From all faces and put an end to the reproach of His people over all the earth— For it is Hashem who has spoken. (Yeshaya 25:8)

Was I Doing Kiruv All Wrong?

As Rosh Hashana of this very strange year approaches, it is time for introspection and thinking of perhaps making some changes.  This unprecedented year, as has been endlessly commented upon, has been mostly a disaster.  We stand before Unetaneh Tokef once again and  – as never before in my lifetime  –  wonder who will live, who will die; will it be in a calamity, or a plague, or by trouble breathing … who will be at peace and who will be subject to riots.  How can we – how should we – pray differently; is that what is needed so that this coming year will be better?

I find myself repeatedly saying that if we learned nothing else from the Coronavirus, it is that we really truly do not know.  We don’t know anything.  We do not know why things happen, and indeed what will happen or when or why. 

All the great predictions made at the beginning of the pandemic lie broken before us.  Society around us is in tatters.  We really do not know anything about what will be.  The best that we can daven for was summed up by Eli HaKohen (Shmuel I 3:19):

ה' הוּא הַטּוֹב בְּעֵינָו יַעֲשֶׂה

He is G-d; He will do what is proper in His eyes.

However, besides prayer, we must, of course, focus on Teshuva.    Every person has their Cheshbon HaNefesh (personal accounting) to do, and I leave it for my readers to figure out what that is for themselves.  Nevertheless, I have been reflecting, and think that others might benefit from my ruminations, particularly for those who deal with Jewish outreach.

Lonni and I are going through a major change, once again.  Two and a half years ago we had the incredible privilege to come on Aliyah to the beautiful but completely secular community of Lavon in northern Israel. Those who are familiar with my writings know that we moved there in order to make a difference.  By living in peace and harmony with our non-observant brothers and sisters, avoiding judging people, and befriending people as they are, we had hoped to eventually bring more respect and appreciation for Jewish Mesorah and learning.  With the help and support of the wonderful Ayelet HaShachar organization, we endeavored to strengthen the local shul, to invite people for Shabbat meals, to learn in various formats, to bring programs before the various chagim, to distribute mishloach manos and to offer interesting entertainers; we even had the Chief Rabbi in our home to greet those who would come.  We had some success and had some nachas, while also encountering some strong animosity.  But two months ago, after being able to do almost nothing for half a year (only partially because of Corona), and in consultation with my Rebbe שליט"א, we decided to invest our energies elsewhere. 

I could write at length about why we came to that feeling, but it really came down to one basic fact: the majority of Israelis (and non-observant Jews everywhere) are simply not interested.  

They are not anti-religious (although they have way too many legitimate gripes about the behavior of too many religious Jews).  They are not mean-spirited.  They simply feel that they have fine values, morals, and ethics, and do not need outdated religious ideas to enlighten their lives, thank you very much.

Not only does outreach not touch them positively, but they look at us as “missionaries” who come to threaten their way of life and turn their children away from them.  Any hint of that their values and way of life lacks something is taken as offensive and hostile, no matter how it is sugar-coated.

We in the Orthodox world tend to look to them with a mix of compassion, incredulity, and even some pity.  We feel bad that they are missing out and do not know the warmth of Shabbos, the majesty of Torah learning, the beauty of an observant community, the closeness that one can feel to Hashem that we can feel during davening.  

We hear stories of Baalei Teshuvah who describe their relatively empty lives before finding the beauty of Torah, and take pride in Ashreinu Ma Tov Chelkeinu, (how fortunate we are).  We thus usually approach outreach with the notion that if we just found the right way to show them the beauty of Torah, we will be able to touch their hearts and neshomos and they will come back.

While, of course, that works for some, the sad truth is that for most nonobservant Jews - it is seen very differently.  Not only does outreach not touch them positively, but they tend to look at us as “missionaries”, who come to threaten their way of life and turn their children away from them.  Any hint that their values or way of life lacks something is taken as offensive and hostile, no matter how it is sugar-coated.

So with a heavy heart, we came to the conclusion that the likelihood that we would have any meaningful impact in the next ten years was minimal, at best. There was thus not much reason to justify staying in a community with no minyan for the long term. (See Pirkei Avos 6:9).* We have left Lavon and will be writing the next chapter of our lives in Migdal HaEmek. ("Why Migdal HaEmek ?" will await another essay).

But I've been thinking a lot: what we might have done differently to have a better result in Lavon?

A conversation with some of my new neighbors in Migdal HaEmek brought me to the point that Israelis would call “the Asimon fell”. 

The answer is summarized well by the Chafetz Chaim in his beautiful book Ahavas Chessed, in which he extols the importance of acts of kindness. (II, 5)

He reminds us of our patriarch Avraham, who excelled primarily in performing acts of kindness; that is why he was chosen to be the father of the chosen people (Bereishis 18:19), not due to his scholarship or adeptness at philosophical arguments.  He then says:

In our time, when the Middas Hadin (strict justice) is ascendant in the world, and there seems to be no way to be saved from troubles that constantly arise, we certainly should increase our effort to engage in Chessed. . . In Egypt, the way the Jews merited the Redemption was to come together and act kindly towards each other, and also to serve their Father in Heaven with Torah.  By mutual covenant they gathered to help each other and be kind to each other, and through that, to merit that Hashem acted kindly towards them.

This became the reason for the Redemption, as it says:

נָחִיתָ בְחַסְדְּךָ עַם זוּ גָּאָלְתָּ נֵהַלְתָּ בְעָזְּךָ אֶל נְוֵה קָדְשֶׁךָ

In Your Chessed You led the people You redeemed; In Your strength, You guide them to Your holy abode. (Shmos 15:13)

Based on this source, on our experience, and the experience of my new friends in Migdal HaEmek, I came to realize that the right way to do outreach to most Jews is NOT to focus on Torah, or observance, or Shabbat, or coming to the shul – or anything "religious".  

The right way is to focus primarily – and with some, exclusively – on doing chessed. 

• To be as good a neighbor as possible. 
• To be friendly and helpful and to have no expectations that they will change their observance in any way.  To give and to love.  Period.
• To see to it that “the Name of G-d will become beloved through you by having an exemplary character that people come to admire (Yoma 86).  To model the Bein Adam L’Chaveiro values of the Torah to become a splendid mensch.  

That, and only that, is the path to win hearts and minds over to our way of life. Only then, when THEY express openness to knowing more about Torah, can we offer to show them that the Bain Adam L'Chaveiro is connected to our relationship with the Almighty, and there is so much more that they might also consider.

Some of the outreach sponsors that I have worked for have demanded monthly reports in which they wanted to know how many people had become to observe Shabbat and at what level, whether they still shave with a razor and whether they wear a kippah publicly, etc.  In my opinion, this is so wrong, on so many levels.  It totally misses the mark and is so counter-productive.  

Our focus should be on creating relationships and good feelings and let Hashem bring them along when they want to explore more.

If only we had focused more on finding opportunities to do Chessed, and less on trying to get people to come and learn when they had no interest.  If only we had run an after-school program to help kids with their homework rather than get them to come to a Chanukah program.  If only we had delivered meals to those who could use the help rather than fruitlessly trying to invite them to Shabbos meals that they found frightening and threatening.  That might have led to us feeling that we really made inroads with more than just a few individuals.

When discussing this with my daughter Ashira, she rightly said, “What do you mean?  The frum community has amazing chessed organizations, Gmachs, and so many people doing Chessed!”  Of course, she is right, the observant community does excel at Chessed.  But I daresay that  (with few notable exceptions such as Yad Sarah and Zaka) it is mostly inner-directed to helping those within the community, and only peripherally to the community at large.  

One might also argue that this goal of doing Chessed is at the core of what the Federation and UJA have been doing, with little to show for it in terms of having aroused greater appreciation for the Torah.  To which I respond that although the Chessed that these organizations have done is mostly excellent, to a large extent it has been divorced from an affinity for Torah and learning and ritual observance, and thus resulted in no such connection being made.  In those few cases where it was done, such as the wonderful UJA sponsored Bikur Holim annual conferences that I used to attend in New York, a huge Kiddush Hashem was made.

We all sense that we are living in momentous times and that the End may be near.  We need to pull together our brothers and sisters with עבותות אהבה, ropes of love (as in the famous formulation of the Chazon Ish).  Let us find our fellow Jews and love them.  Period.

Let us remember the glorious example of R Levi Yitzchak of Berdichev who – while being an astounding Torah scholar – worried not about how observant other Jews were, but if he could find ways to be kind to them, assured that their way to observance would follow.

Personally, I hope to continue to work with Ayelet HaSHachar here in town and in the neighboring moshavot and kibbutzim.  Doing Chessed.  Certainly being more than willing to respond if interest in Torah arises, but that will not be the primary focus of activity.

If we do so – sincerely with no expectation of anything in return – Hashem will eventually fill their hearts as well with love and appreciation for Him and His Torah.

An abbreviated version of this article appeared in the Jewish Press

* An interesting footnote is that although there was no minyan in Lavon for almost seven months prior to our leaving, there has been a minyan every single Shabbos since we left.  I am unclear why this is so - is it that they are finally taking responsibility for the minyan without me there to champion it, or that there were people who were annoyed by my presence that now felt comfortable returning?  Life is certainly funny sometimes.

Sinat Chinam: Baseless or Inexcusable?

Tisha B'Av is now behind us.  Despite all the hopes when Corona first hit that Mashiach was right around the corner, we mourned once again on Tisha B’Av.  We certainly have – once again – determined to do something about the primary cause of the destruction of the second Bais HaMikdash, i.e., שנאת חינם Sinat Chinam (SC), usually translated as “baseless hatred”.  And yet, I must conclude that the problem of SC is worse than ever.

What is SC?  Why would someone hate another baselessly?  Surely that is something only a psychopath would do. Ordinary people do not hate someone for no reason at all.  Three incidents that our Sages point to help us to understand.

The first occurred about 100 years before the Churban, in 63 BCE.  The evil Hasmonean king ינאי (Alexander Jannaeus)was gone. Righteous Queen Shlomzion Hamalka succeeded him and appointed her eldest son Hyrcanus II to succeed her.  This did not sit well with her younger son Aristobulus II, so he went to war to overthrow his brother. Making a long story short, at one point, Aristobulus had taken refuge in the Bais Hamikdash (Temple), while the forces of Hyrcanus laid siege outside.  Aristobulus pleaded with Hyrcanus to send in animals so that the Korban Tamid (daily offering) which they both saw as vital to Klal Yisrael, could continue.  For a while, they supplied – for an exorbitant price – the daily animals. One day, however, they became so consumed with hatred that they sent a pig up in the bucket that had been lowered with gold payment (on the seventeenth of Tamuz).  In the end, mutual hatred led both brothers to appeal to the Romans to take their side. Once the Romans took control, they never left, ultimately leading to the destruction.

The second incident – the well-known story of Kamtza and Bar Kamtza – occurred a year or two before the Churban, around 68 CE.  The anonymous host was so infuriated by Bar Kamtza's presence that – despite being offered sponsorship of the entire expensive feast – he hated Bar Kamtza so much that he ejected and humiliated him instead.

The third incident occurred a year or two later, in the heat of the terrible fighting between the factions of Jews in besieged Jerusalem. The accursed Vespasian ימ "ש wisely decided to hold off attacking the city; he let the Jews kill each other for months and do the dirty work for him. Amid all that - in their hatred of the Perushim and their policy of appeasement of the Romans - the extremists burnt down storehouses that could have fed everyone for years.

Hatred prompting action even against self-interest;

 Total rejection of the legitimacy of the other

I believe that these awful stories have a common thread – of people so consumed with hatred of the other that they (a) strongly act against their self-interest, and (b) are unwilling to grant any possible credence to anything that their opponents say or do, even when it is clearly evident that their opponents may have some legitimate points.

Society around us is bristling with this sort of hatred. In Israel: for his opponents, Netanyahu can do nothing right, while his supporters see a great statesman and only evil on the other side.  In America, it is far worse.  The level of hatred and intolerance for President Trump is beyond insane.  Anything and everything that Trump does is evil, hateful, racist, and idiotic, no matter what.  Conversely, for Trump's supporters, the Left has lost its collective mind, supports lunatic policies, and is motivated only by hatred and power and reverse racism. For each side, nothing that the other does or suggests is worthy of any consideration.  The level of hatred and distrust between the sides is such that former friends do not speak, families have ripped apart, and people are afraid of speaking their mind lest they and their families and their businesses destroyed.

Is this baseless hatred?  Most people are eager to explain, in vivid detail, just why they hate the other side so much.  But is the hatred justified?  Let us see if the same old SC factors are at play.

The first is when they act against their self-interest.  Take what has happened over the past two months in Portland, a place I used to be proud to call home.  The endless riots caused enormous harm and violence and injury and benefitted no one.  But the rioters are so consumed by self-righteous hatred that they are willing to destroy the city and the institutions that might help them, so long as they can vent their hatred.  Nationwide, BLM vandals have caused enormous damage and have hurt the black community far more than the white, just to make their very debatable points.  At the same time, by totally demonizing the activists on the left and saying needlessly provocative and foolish things, President Trump and his supporters have, in many cases, stoked and inflamed instead of trying to defuse and find common ground. In both cases, the sides have acted against their self-interest – which would be to reduce the conflict and address the real problems. All decent people in America were horrified about what happened to George Floyd. What could and should have been a unifying moment, has become the horrible reality of today, due to haters who have twisted the facts to attack their political foes.

The second is the refusal to find any good in the positions of the other side.  To any neutral observer, it should be manifestly evident that President Trump, despite endless hostility and opposition from the Democrats, has managed to rack up many major achievements.  Conversely, despite the presence of many deranged ideas coming from the left, there are some good ideas that could be helpful as public policy.  But partisans on neither side will grant any legitimacy to their opponents, seeking only to attack and to demonize. 

Perhaps this is what SC means.  I think it would be helpful if – instead of translating Sinat Chinam as "Baseless Hatred” – it would be translated as "Inexcusable Hatred.” Hatred beyond the justifiable. Anger that (a) is so intense that it goes against one's self-interest, and/or (b) that refuses to find any redeeming quality in the subject of the hatred.

Is there ever room for hate? On the one hand, the Torah says (Vayikra 19:17) "Thou shall not hate thy brother in thy heart," and hatred is surely to be avoided. On the other hand, "There is a time to hate" (Kohelet 3:8).  Honestly, it is only very pious people that hate no one.  Most people harbor some degree of what they consider to be justified resentment.  But when it devolves to SC, or “Inexcusable Hatred” that goes over and beyond reason, it becomes uniquely destructive.

Let us not kid ourselves.  The hatred today is not limited to the world of politics and the larger society.  Within our Jewish community, righteous indignation leads some groups to resent, dislike, and perhaps even, heaven forfend, to hate.  When the hatred is such that they act to destroy each other even against their self-interest while refusing to see any redeeming quality in the other, we have truly unjustifiable hatred. So long as that goes on, we stand no chance at meriting the Bet HaMikdash's rebuilding.

In these weeks of Nechama, let us consider that the word does not only mean "consolation." In addition, it means "reconsideration", as we find it used to describe Hashem “re-thinking” a former plan, as it were (e.g. Bereishis 6:6, Shmos 32:14).

וַיִּנָּחֶם ה' כִּי־עָשָׂה אֶת־הָאָדָם בָּאָרֶץ וַיִּתְעַצֵּב אֶל־לִבּוֹ

And Hashem reconsidered having made man on earth, and His heart was saddened. 

וַיִּנָּחֶם ה' עַל־הָרָעָה אֲשֶׁר דִּבֶּר לַעֲשׂוֹת לְעַמּוֹ

And Hashem renounced the punishment He had planned to bring upon His people.

We need to reexamine how we think about and act towards those with whom we disagree.  To reflect more, hit "send" less, respond less to provocations, and spend more time trying to judge others favorably and giving them the benefit of the doubt.  Perhaps that will allow us to enter from the seven weeks of Nechama effectively to the weeks of Teshuvah soon coming up.  If we do, surely Hashem will have a much easier time bringing Nechama, in the usual sense of the word.

Abridged version published in Jewish Press and the Queens Jewish Link Aug 7, 2020