Biden’s Rosh Hashana Sermon

Although most Israelis would have no idea what I am talking about, most Americans consider Rosh Chodesh Elul to be the day after Labor Day, regardless of the Jewish Calendar.  Before Labor Day we are too busy with the Lazy Hazy Crazy Days of Summer to take Elul seriously. 

No matter that the Rambam writes that the sound of the Shofar calls us to “Wake up sleepy ones, arise. Review your deeds, repent, remember your Creator. To those who forget the truth and engage all year in empty pursuits and matters that are ultimately worthless; think about your souls. Improve your ways and your deeds and abandon your sinful path (Teshuva 3:4). Summer is no time for such heavy thoughts.

However, for those paying attention, Hashem provided us with quite a wake-up call this year, as He often does. Twenty years ago, on the 23rd day of Elul we experienced September 11; a day that forever changed our perspective on our safety and security in the United States.  This year, we had several wake-up calls.

First – the year and a half of Corona, which has impacted everyone’s life in ways great and small.  It has changed our businesses, shuls, schools, families, and social contacts, let alone those who suffered personal tragedies.  It has left us, or should have left us, with far less certainty about our ability to control our lives and circumstances, and far more humility about predicting the future.  It certainly ought to be a wake-up call to Teshuva

Second – the tremendous political upheavals of this year, both in the USA and in Israel.  We became fractured, divided, and subjected to more hatred than any of us can remember in recent decades – simply because of our political and personal views.  We witnessed the fall of the mighty and their replacement by those of questionable competence who focus primarily on destroying the legacy of their predecessors.

And now, just before the Day of Judgment, the debacle in Afghanistan.

I will not go into an analysis here of the depth of the terrible damage wrought by the shameful mishandling of the withdrawal by the current administration.  I will focus only on what this means to us as Jews standing before Rosh Hashana.

Many writers have described the incalculable damage that has been done to America’s credibility as a guarantor of her allies’ peace and security.  Taiwan, South Korea, NATO – they have now seen how trustworthy America is when it ensures others that “Uncle Sam has your back”.  

One can appreciate – on a whole new level – how important it was when former PM Netanyahu and his predecessors insisted that Israel cannot take foolish risks for peace and rely on the USA to guarantee peace if things go awry.  Images of American friends falling off the airplanes to their deaths; of the American President (scandalously) blaming the Afghanistan army for not fighting for themselves; of him saying that chaos was inevitable and that he cannot guarantee the safety of thousands of Americans nor that of local Afghan allies, are chilling in the extreme.  And it starkly reminds us how precarious our safety is in this world, particularly as Jews.  The verse that we say every morning could not be more apt.

אַל תִּבְטְחוּ בִנְדִיבִים בְּבֶן אָדָם שֶׁאֵין לוֹ תְשׁוּעָה

Put not your trust in the great, in mortal man who cannot save.

  (Tehillim 146:3)

Quite a wake-up call, indeed.

We approach Rosh Hashana – the day that we are to accept the sovereignty of our King, the Master of the Universe – with great trepidation.  So many of its prayers jump out at us with special urgency.  “He who crowns kings but retains the true kingship”. . . “On this day it will be determined which countries will face the (Taliban) sword, hunger, or prosperity” . . .” We approach You not with our (deficient) deeds, but with looking to your Mercy” . . .and so many more.  We have been shown so clearly, if only we opened our eyes, how much we cannot rely on ourselves or other humans to solve the world’s problems.  Oh, how desperately do we need His Grace!

How much must we join together to daven that the Almighty watch over Eretz Yisrael and protect those who defend it!

As the future looks ever more tenuous in the Diaspora, we must be so grateful for the gift of the State of Israel.  Notwithstanding the many physical and spiritual problems there, how fortunate we are that –unlike those stuck in Afghanistan – we have a State of our own to run to in our hour of need.  Surely it is time for those in the Hareidi world to stop focusing on the many problematic trees and to see the forest for what it is – a wonderful gift that Hashem has allowed us to have. How much must we join together to daven that the Almighty watch over Eretz Yisrael and protect those who defend it!

Medinat Yisrael is not to be taken for granted – not for those who do not live here, who confidently assure themselves that whenever they feel like they can be “Next Year in Jerusalem” – it is the first time in recent memory that Jews want to come and cannot because of Corona.  For us who have the great good fortune to live in the Land, we look forward to the Shemitta year to remind us not to take it for granted. A year to internalize that it is the Almighty’s land - and not ours – and that we need His blessing to thrive in this refuge He has provided us in the midst of ever-growing threats.

May we have a most meaningful and heartfelt Rosh Hashana, and truly dedicate ourselves to serving the King of kings, who is looking to give us more than we could even imagine, if we would only turn to Him with all our hearts and minds.

PS - Although I am not sure how much I would recommend her work in general, Dolly Parton wrote words in her song "Hello God" that ought to give us some pause:

Hello, God? 
If we're still on speakin' terms
Can You help me like before?

I have questioned Your existence
My resistance leaves me cold
Can you help me go the distance?
Hello?

This old world has gone to pieces
Can we fix it? Is there time?
Hate and violence just increases
We're so selfish, cruel, and blind

We fight and kill each other
In Your name defending You
Do You love some more than others?
We're so lost and confused

Hello, God?Are you out there?
Can you hear us?Are you listenin' anymore?
Hello, God?

If we're still on speakin' terms
Can You help us like before?
Oh, the free will You have given
We have made a mockery of
This is no way to be livin'
We're in great need of Your love
Hello, God?

Hello, God?
Can You grant us
Love enough to make amends?
Is there still a chance
That we could start again?

Hello, God?
We've learned our lesson
Dear God, don't let us go
More than ever
Hello?

We really need You
We can't make it without You
We beseech You
In the name of all that's true
Hello, God?

Please forgive us
For we know not what we do
Hello, God?

Give us one more chance
To prove ourselves to You

Hello, God?

Published in the Jewish Press August 27, 2021

The Debased Origins of Baseless Hatred

Once again, Tisha B’Av approaches. As we have done so often, we will mourn the Churban, and lament how Sinat Chinam (baseless hatred) caused so much pain and suffering. And yet, the problem of baseless hatred is still with us, seemingly growing by the day. 

(Baseless? See my essay from last year Sinat Chinam: Baseless or Inexcusable?)

There is so much anger and division in our communities. So many people harbor hatred for others, simply because they disagree sharply with their political or religious views. We suffer on national, communal, and personal levels. In America, the nation is divided as perhaps no time since the Civil War.  In Israel, the disparate factions of the new government are bound together only by hatred of Netanyahu. As for Netanyahu and the opposition, they are interested only in causing the new government to fall, no matter the issue. Communities are rent apart; former friends and relatives barely speak to each other because of political differences – I need not go on.

These past two years I have been studying a great deal of history in preparation for the Ministry of Tourism Licensing exam. What I learned of the level of Sinat Chinam in Jerusalem prior to the Churban was far worse than I had imagined from studying about Kamtza and Bar Kamtza et al. The various factions of  Tzedukim, Zealots,Perushim, and Sicarri were at each other’s throats so badly that many thousands of Jews killed and maimed each other with no involvement of the Romans – blood literally ran in the streets. It was so bad that the Roman General Vespasian delayed in attacking Jerusalem, reflecting:

It is best [for the Romans], while their enemies are destroying each other with their own hands, and falling into the greatest of misfortunes, … to sit still as spectators … rather than to fight hand to hand with men that love murdering, and are mad one against another… For the Jews are not now employed in making of armor or building of walls; nor indeed in getting together defenses…rather, the Jews are vexed to pieces every day by their civil wars, and dissensions; and are under greater miseries than – if they were captured – could be inflicted on them by us. Therefore, we ought to suffer these Jews to destroy one another; we ought by no means meddle with these men now they are afflicted with a distemper at home.

Josephus, Wars of the Jews, Chapter 6

After the Jews had killed and weakened each other for years and burnt their storehouses of food in the madness of their civil war, the Romans had a much easier time finishing the bloody job.

What led to such awful fraternal hatred? And what lessons ought we to take to avoid continuing down that road?

Two historical episodes from the generation before the Churban help clarify how things deteriorated to that point. 

The first story appeared recently in Daf Yomi:

Two kohanim were ascending the ramp to the Mizbeach (Altar). One of them reached the 4 cubits before the other, whereupon the second took a knife and stabbed the first in the heart. Rabbi Tzadok chastised all those present by asking whether the law of Egla Arufa (an offering brought when we do not know who the murderer is) applies here, and who must supply it. . . At that point, the entire assembly of people to burst into tears. 

Until the father of the dying Kohen came and said ‘Look, he is not yet dead, and the knife is therefore not Tameh! Quickly remove the knife lest it become tameh!” (Yoma 23a)

The astoundingly perverted priorities of that father need no elaboration. The exaggerated focus on a supposed spiritual value versus concern about another human being, let alone his dying son, led to both the death of that kohen, and the callous reaction of his father. This deeply affected Rabbi Tzadok, whom we meet several times in the Churban narratives.

A famous incident occurred a few months before the Churban, when Rav Yochanan ben Zakai was granted three wishes from Vespasian, one of which he used to ask for a doctor for Rabbi Tzadok. Rabbi Tzadok had been fasting for forty years to try to forestall the Churban. Presumably, the forty years began around the time of the above story, which he took as an omen of doom for Yerushalayim and the Bais HaMikdash. Since the Churban happened in the year 70 CE, forty years prior was around 30 CE.

In my course, I was required to know more than I ever wanted to about the basic beliefs of Christianity. Among the most well-known stories about JC, written about in all the gospels, concerned his protests (shortly before the crucifixion) regarding the corruption that was going on in and around the Temple. The greedy priests (mainly Sadducees) were focused primarily on money and power and made the experience of coming to the Temple the opposite of spiritual. 

In one famous incident, JC turned over the tables of the moneychangers and sheep merchants outside the Temple, accusing them of taking advantage of people who came to worship. . (This was the main reason that the priests were so annoyed at him and asked the Romans to kill him – he was bad for business.)  In several other scenes, he castigated the priests and the Pharisees for being concerned only about ritual law, and not the human suffering that was right in from of them. These teachings*, and the contrast between his teaching and that of too many Rabbis, was a major factor in causing people to be his followers, despite his other dangerous mishegass.

Lest I be criticized for relying on Christian sources for these stories, they are more than corroborated by our tradition. For example, in Pesachim 57a, the Gemara heaps enormous criticism on the Kohanim of that time:  Abba Shaul ben Batnit said … Woe is me due to the Kohanim Gedolim of the house of Baisos, woe is me due to their clubs [used for hitting those who did not subordinate to their greedy wishes]. Woe is me due to the Kohanim Gedolim of the house of Ḥanin . . .of Katros, of the house of Yishmael ben Piakhi; woe is me due to their whispers and the rumors they spread. Woe is me due to the High Priests of the house of Katros; woe is me due to their pens that they use to write lies, their rumors, their fists, the way that they act inappropriately. 

I was thinking about this when a fascinating connection jumped out at me.  It is accepted that at his crucifixion, JC was in his early thirties, (about 30 CE). Thus, the Christian stories about the corruption in Jerusalem occurred at virtually the same time as the corruption pointed to by Rabbi Tzadok. These incidents illustrate the decadence that led to the horrible dissension, which made the Churban all but inevitable.

The culture of “baseless hatred” did not start with a few bad apples like the actors in the Kamtza story. The elites – the Kohanim in the Bet Hamikdash and too many others – in their zealous self-righteousness, religious coercion, and insensitivity to the way they were being perceived by others, contributed to a terrible culture of animosity and hatred. Tempers were whipped up, small disagreements became major clashes, and a culture of trying to get along with each other gave way to power struggles, “might makes right”, and ultimately chaos and murder. Things were so bad that -- as hard as it is to say this – perhaps we can understand why the Churban was necessary to ensure to allow for a better future.  

Perhaps this is why Rav Yochanan Ben Zakkai, the great hero who is perhaps most responsible for helping us to successfully transition to a post Churban reality, insisted that it was necessary to have a doctor for Rabbi Tzadok as part of that process. It was only by clinging to Rabbi Tzadok’s wake-up call that we could leave behind the corrosive past and hope for a better future.

The fault for the fact that that the Haredim are reviled by such a large percentage of the Israeli public can not lie only on the others, and cannot be fairly described as “senseless hatred”.

There are many parallels that one could draw to current events, some of which I alluded to earlier. Here in Israel, it is certainly way past time for some of the religious leaders to think about the tone-deaf ways in which it has argued for its needs and priorities in the past decades. As the new government (particularly ministers Liberman and Lapid) take aim at the government largesse that has underwritten much of Haredi society, it would be well for the leadership to reflect on the way their messages have been heard by the Israeli public. While it is true that there are those reshaim who are anti-religious and want to destroy Torah, they are a small minority. Most Israelis are happy to live and let live and have no interest in interfering with the Haredi lifestyle. However, when they sense that they are repeatedly forced against their will to support unappealing ( to them) priorities, that their efforts in providing the infrastructure and security of the country are unappreciated and on top of that they are mocked and ridiculed and looked down upon by so many messages emanating from Haredi spokesmen and hotheaded individuals, they have a violently negative reaction. The fault for the fact that that the Haredim are reviled by such a large percentage of the Israeli public can not lie only on the others, and cannot be fairly described as “senseless hatred”.

Let us hope that this Tisha B’Av will cause some sincere and honest reflection on how we can change perceptions, and strive to fulfill the beautiful challenge we just learned in Daf Yomi on Yoma 86a, that our charge is to make the Name of Hashem beloved by our actions and the way we comport ourselves.

Printed in the Jewish Press July 16, 2021

-----

* Here are some examples

And Jesus went into the temple of God, and cast out all them that sold and bought in the temple, and overthrew the tables of the money changers, and the seats of them that sold doves, And said unto them, It is written, My house shall be called the house of prayer; but ye have made it a den of thieves.

— Matthew 21

Then Jesus said to the crowds and to his disciples:  “The teachers of the law and the Pharisees sit in Moses’ seat. So you must be careful to do everything they tell you. But do not do what they do, for they do not practice what they preach. They tie up heavy, cumbersome loads and put them on other people’s shoulders, but they themselves are not willing to lift a finger to move them.

“Everything they do is done for people to see: They make their phylacteries[a] wide and the tassels on their garments long; they love the place of honor at banquets and the most important seats in the synagogues; they love to be greeted with respect in the marketplaces and to be called ‘Rabbi’ by others.

Woe to you, teachers of the law and Pharisees, you hypocrites! You give a tenth of your spices—mint, dill and cumin. But you have neglected the more important matters of the law—justice, mercy, and faithfulness. You should have practiced the latter, without neglecting the former. You blind guides! You strain out a gnat but swallow a camel.

— Mathew 23

Justice Tal ז"ל: A Giant of Justice and Mercy

The Jewish world lost a unique and special individual this week.  Justice Tzvi Tal, of blessed memory, was one of those rare individuals who truly embodied the dictum of the Gemara Yoma 86a:

Abaye said: “And you shall love the Lord your God”  –  you shall make the name of Heaven beloved. How? One should learn Torah and Mishna, serve Torah scholars, and be pleasant with people in one's business transactions. What do people say about such a person? Fortunate is his father who taught him Torah, fortunate is his teacher who taught him Torah, woe to the people who have not studied Torah. See how pleasant are his ways, how proper are his deeds. The verse states about him and others like him: “You are My servant, Israel in whom I will be glorified” (Isaiah 49:3).

Born as Tzvi Elimelech Teitelbaum to a Hassidic family in Poland, Justice Tal came to Eretz Yisrael at a young age. He loved Torah and general knowledge and supported himself through yeshiva high school by working part-time as a mechanic. After attending advanced yeshiva, serving in the Irgun and then the army (he fought in three wars), he went to law school and became a respected attorney. After some years he was asked to become a judge on the Jerusalem District Court. He considered that to be a judge in a non-Torah legal system may well be problematic, and spoke to several Rabbonim about it. The Lubavitcher Rebbe among others encouraged him to be a judge, but at the same time to increase his dedication to Torah by teaching a daily shiur. He considered a judge as doing God's work if done properly. Eventually, he rose to the pinnacle of the Israeli legal world, serving as the conscience of the Israeli Supreme Court as he occupied the “religious seat” for years. (He was often not happy about that; he felt sometimes as a fig leaf for many of the excesses of Aharon Barak’s aggressive Court). 

In his career as a judge, he sat on many important cases, and found himself often in the minority, especially when arguing for the more traditional position. The most famous judicial panel that he sat on was the trial of John Demjanjuk שר"י , who may or may not have been “Ivan the Terrible”, but certainly was, at minimum, an accessory to 28,000 murders at Sobibor. 

The judge was best known for heading the eponymous commission that came up with the “Tal Law”; a compromise that he enabled by meeting Roshei Yeshiva with the utmost respect, fashioning an arrangement that reasonable people on both sides could live with. As he put it, “Take away the Torah, and what will be left of us? A small, and unimportant people with a sub-American culture. We are on the stage of history only thanks to the Torah, the Mishnah, the Talmud - the great contribution of the Jewish people. Not only religiously but also nationally. This is the core of our identity. But only some are engaged in Torah as their full occupation, many others just hang out in Yeshivot. Those must go to the army or serve the public like everyone else. " Although it was later overturned, the Yeshiva world remained grateful to him for doing what he could to protect serious Torah scholars.

One must arrive at the correct legal decision. But one must never forget to also arrive at Tzedek – the fair and ethical truth.  One must use not only Midat HaDin but also Midat HaRachamim (not only justice but mercy).  L’fnim MShurat Hadin.

I knew him, however, in a different light. Growing up in Bayit Vegan and visiting my parents' home frequently, I would see Justice Tal very often at the Sochatchov shtibel where he attended shiurim, gave a daily Mishnayos shiur, and was the best Ba'al Keri'ah that I have ever heard. He radiated a quiet dignity and wisdom, and was a walking Kiddush Hashem for his excellence in Torah and Derech Eretz, as he commanded universal respect for his deep integrity and fearlessness.

However, as is too often the case, I learned much more about him in the news stories that appeared after his passing, and my appreciation has grown exponentially. I saw an interview in which he shared how difficult he found it to send anyone to jail. It reminded me of a Gemara that I learned this week (Bava Metzia 30b) in which Rav Yochanan taught that the reason Jerusalem was destroyed was because they judged according to Torah Law. This obviously strange statement was explained by the Gemara to mean that they judged by the strict letter of the law and did not engage in L’fnim MShurat Hadin (Going beyond strict justice.) As Justice Tal said, "Of course one must arrive at the correct legal decision. But one must never forget to also arrive at Tzedek – the fair and ethical truth.  One must use not only Midat HaDin but also Midat HaRachamim (not only justice but mercy).  L’fnim MShurat Hadin.

When sentencing even those whose guilt was beyond doubt, his hand would shake while signing the sentencing decree; he would ask their forgiveness for having to do this. A convict whom he sent to prison for fifteen years, published a message expressing his heartbreak at the judge’s passing. The judge would make a point of visiting him at least once a year to inquire after his welfare. In fact, he did this for all those whom he sentenced to a long term, even those who would not forgive him nor shake his hand when he came to see them. On one occasion, this prisoner asked the judge to help watch over his helpless wife and young children, which the judge did for many years. Another ex-con related “the judge changed my life. Today I earn an honest living and am a grandfather. Every few months I called the judge at his request to let him know how I am doing. While I was still incarcerated, my son had a Bar mitzvah – the judge arranged and paid for everything, and refused to let me acknowledge him as he sat unobtrusively at a side table . . . can you believe such a man existed?

His son related that he fasted on the day that he sentenced Demjanjuk to death (later overturned by the Supreme Court). “Do you know what an awesome responsibility it is to take another life, even a monster like Demjanjuk? One cannot just sit down to a breakfast of scrambled eggs and then send a man to death . . . “ His son – who saw him cry many times when reading Eicha – wondered how he could not cry when listening to the survivors talk about their horrible experiences. “It took enormous self-control, but I have a job to do and I have to keep my personal feelings to myself.”

He maintained his integrity and was universally respected by all – Secular, Dati Leumi, and Chareidi alike. One story related to his regular attendance at the Daf Yomi in the shtibel, where the regulars would be unlikely to stand in silence for the siren on Yom HaZikaron, especially if it was sounded during a shiur. He, of course, not only had the highest respect for the fallen soldiers in general; he had given the ultimate sacrifice of his son Moshe הי"ד in a battle during the Yom Kippur war. He told a friend that to not attend the shiur was unthinkable. But a few minutes before the siren, he went out as if he had to take care of some matter, stood at attention during the siren thinking of Moshe and his comrades, and then went back to his Gemara. Without fanfare or arguments, he knew how to do the right thing resolutely with quiet integrity.

One of my great regrets is that I never really had a conversation with him although I often wished him Good Shabbos. I was simply too much in awe and did not know what to say that did not sound small and insignificant. I will greatly miss seeing this giant small man, who embodied everything a great Torah Im Derech Eretz Jew should be.

Woe to us for those who are no longer, and there is none like one them to replace them.

חבל דאבדין ולא משתכחין

Published in the Jewish Press July 2, 2021

A Government Not for the Sake of Heaven

Ah, Politics.  The national pastime of Israel – everyone has an opinion; a nation of prime ministers as the old Golda Meir line goes.  After four elections in the past two years, one would think we are inured to really worrying about the outcome, or lack thereof.  But this time around, an earthquake is happening, and it is deeply worrying.

In this week’s Parshat Hashavua, we read about the sorry tale of Korach.  The Mishna in Pirkei Avot (5:17) famously offers the arguments between Hillel and Shammai as a prototype of an “Argument for the Sake of Heaven”, while the protagonists of an “Argument Not for the Sake of Heaven” are Korach and his conspirators.  A question asked by many is why does the Mishna cite “Korach and his conspirators”?  Surely, the negative parallel case to Hillel and Shammai ought to have been Korach and Moshe! 

A famous answer given by the Malbim is that a sine qua non of an “Argument for the Sake of Heaven” is that each side represents a unified view of truth, unified on an important principle.  In the case of Korach, however, we find that he brought together a motley crew of different people with disparate interests.  Korach wanted to be the Kohen Gadol.  The 250 who joined were disgruntled bechoros who were enraged that they were supplanted by the tribe of Levi. Dassan and Aviram were long-time antagonists of Moshe. On be Peles – it isn’t clear what he wanted.  The only thing that bound them together was a determination to attack the authority of Moshe and affect a change of leadership.  As Rabbi Dr Jonathan Sacks zt”l put it, “The groups had nothing in common except that they each wanted to be leaders. Each of them wanted a more important or respected position than they currently held. In a word, they wanted power. This was an argument not for the sake of heaven.”

The parallels to the proposed “unity government” that – barring a miracle -- will be sworn in could not be clearer. The group is made up of those whose views and agenda represent the farthest left – Meretz and Labor—those that claim to be on the right – Yamina, New Hope, Yisrael Beiteinu – and those in the Center – Yesh Atid, Blue and White.  As with Korach, they are united by one thing, and one thing only – hatred, jealousy, and animus towards one of the greatest Prime Ministers in the history of the State of Israel, Benjamin Netanyahu.

The price of joining together? They are proposing to 

• Remove corrupt politicians from power, by installing the corrupt Liberman as Finance Minister

• Do away with the “blackmail” of the Haredim and instead grant more than 50 Billion Shekels to the Arabs

• Reject the “homophobe” Ben Gvir , while agreeing to the Arab demand to stop the advancement of the LBTQ agenda

• Stand for the principles of Democracy while installing a Prime Minister whose party has only six seats; seats that he won by explicitly promising that he would not join such a government.

• Stand for the principle of Law and Order while agreeing in advance to legitimize tens of thousands of homes built illegally by the Arabs.

Central to making this work, is the inclusion of the Ra’am party, headed by Mansour Abbas.  This is a particularly difficult pill to swallow.  To be honest, two months ago, when there was a discussion of how Netanyahu might succeed in forming a coalition, I was amongst those on the right who were in favor of having the support of Abbas.  Living in Israel, especially in the Galilee, I have worked with, been treated and served by and interacted and even become friendly with many Arabs.  Particularly in the course I took to become a tour guide, I found that there are many Arabs (Muslim and Christian) who are good people, interested in living with Israel in peace, and who do not support the efforts of the Arab terrorists to harm us.  It seemed to me that what I was hearing from Mansour Abbas, as opposed to Ahmed Tibi and other awful Arab leaders, represented these moderate Arabs. He seemed interested only in promoting the civil rights, education, and welfare of peaceful Arabs, and it was good to have their support if that is it what it took to form a right-wing government.  When Smotrich and Ben Gvir (whom I am proud to have voted for) warned that they could not be trusted, I questioned this stance.

And then came the recent mini-war.  And the terrible pogroms that took place in Lod, Acco, and other mixed cities, coupled with terrible lynches in Jerusalem and elsewhere.  As a seasoned politician, Abbas said the politically correct things to the western press. He even came to visit the site of the shul torched during the pogrom in Lod.  But to his Arab audience, he supported those who fought in the streets and refused to discuss the security issues until the fighting stopped.  He praised the hooligans who fought in the streets as the best of our young people. And I understood and appreciated the position of Smotrich and Ben Gvir –until and unless Abbas publicly disassociates himself from his previously stated positions in favor of terrorists and Jihad, and demonstrated true loyalty to the Jewish state, he cannot be relied on to be part of the government.

This “Korach problem”, of banding together to silence others and destroy their leadership, is of course not limited to Israel (i.e. the banding together of so many disparate parties to destroy President Trump), nor is it limited to the world of politics. Again to quote Rabbi Sacks, “I believe that what is happening at universities, turning the pursuit of truth into the pursuit of power, silencing, demonizing and no-platforming those with whom people disagree, is the Korach phenomenon of our time, and it is very dangerous indeed. An old Latin motto says that to secure justice, audi alteram artem, 'Listen to the other side.' It is through listening to the other side that we walk the path to truth."

In a few weeks we will once again be experiencing Tisha B’Av, and reflecting on the famous story of Kamtza and Bar Kamtza. A famous question is often asked: why does the Gemara blame Kamtza for what happened?  After all, the bad actors were Bar Kamtza and the anonymous host, not Kamtza, who does not appear at all in the story!  The Maharal explains that the Churban happened because of the insane hatred that Kamtza shared with the host against Bar Kamtza, to the point that they were unwilling to associate with Bar Kamtza, no matter the cost.  Similar to Korach, these were two people united only because of a common enemy, and thus Kamtza shares the blame as well.

Let us hope that by the time Tisha B’Av comes around, the powers that be in Israel come to their senses and – unlike Korach and Kamtza – will be willing to get past their personal animus before a far greater tragedy unfolds.

 

Lag B’Omer 5781: United in Sorrow?

Dateline: Friday morning, Lag B’Omer, Tzfat (May 31)

Last night, long before the disaster happened, I basked in my curmudgeonly smugness. We came to Tzfat for the holiday weekend as my wife and kids excitedly anticipated joining the hundreds of thousands in a long night of singing and dancing in honor of Rav Shimon Bar Yochai in nearby Meron.  Although Lonni tried valiantly to get me to join her, I was quite content to sit on my mechutan’s mirpeset (balcony) in Tzfat and look at the lights of Meron across the valley.  I generally do not like endless singing and dancing; I wonder what the revelers are thinking about and how much it really has to do with Ahavas Hashem.  I question how it connects with the rather severe personality of Rav Shimon that we meet in the Gemara.  Maybe it is my nature as a Yekke or a cynic – I felt little connection to the crowds that I was grateful to avoid.

And then, shortly after midnight, I heard a siren.  And another.  And then another, growing in intensity and frequency.  Having lived in Israel during the Intifada, I immediately worried whether a terrorist incident had occurred. Then, the flashing red lights appeared – all along the winding road from Meron to Tzfat.  And the phone call arrived – an acquaintance on a bus to Meron was told that their bus would be making a U-Turn, a tragedy had happened in Meron and no one would be allowed to enter.

As news of the extent and nature of the catastrophe trickled in, worry for my wife and kids and grandchildren grew stronger, abetted by the overwhelmed phone system that shut down all communication.  Soon, however, we were able to communicate via WhatsApp, and I was grateful to know they were unharmed, although a very long night still awaited them.

More hours of waiting, checking news, contemplating present and future, saying some tehillim, and listening to the unending wail of ambulances headed to Ziv Medical center passed – but I felt that there was something very missing for me.  Until I opened a message forwarded from a woman named BatSheva Sadan. Here is an English adaptation:

A moment after I breathed a sigh of relief when I found out that all my children were fine – I started crying.

I cried for my brief feeling of happiness and relief that this was the disaster of others; not my disaster. I cried for the sigh of relief that I was not one of the terrified mothers desperate to know the fate of their loved ones. I cried realizing how I had differentiated myself from dozens of families whose lives have changed, who will now carry a never-ending pain. 

On this special day – when we supposedly have completed internalizing the message of the plague decimating the disciples of Rabbi Akiva for not practicing this teaching of their great Rebbi – I realized that we still do not understand anything.

I cried as I realized how far I was from actualizing the mitzvah “Love your fellow as yourself”.On this special day – when we supposedly have completed internalizing the message of the plague decimating the disciples of Rabbi Akiva for not practicing this teaching of their great Rebbi – I realized that we still do not understand anything. I still see us as separate, I still do not physically and emotionally feel pain that is not mine

We have had so many God-given opportunities to understand that only through unity and togetherness can we grow and rebuild from disasters and crises. From the terrible Holocaust to this Corona year; enduring so much war, terror, and hard struggle for our very existence, and yet we are still so separated.  We ought to feel unity, no matter whether religious or secular, liberal or conservative, rich or poor.  Tragically, however, we are divided politically, religiously, socially, and in so many subtle ways that seem unsurmountable. It is certainly fine to have different shades, sounds, styles and colors; but when will we learn to put these together into a light-filled unified tapestry?

In these moments that families are still looking for their loved ones and we all share their prayers, I want to hope that when we light candles tonight, there will be this special moment where we can look at the flames and see how the many shades that create great light. Let us reflect then on the souls of the people with us yesterday and no longer here. Let us feel for one moment that these are our sons; for one moment may we feel deep inside that we belong to something great and sublime, to a strong and painful nation that is slowly marching together towards redemption.

How small and petty I feel while reflecting on my attitude only a few hours ago.  How much do I need to work on my Ahavat Yisrael, on humility, and acceptance of others?  How far am I from truly being an Ohev Yisrael?

The Mitzvah “Love Your Fellow as Yourself” is actually quite difficult.  In truth, virtually no one loves anyone as much as they love themselves (unless they are clinically depressed). But, as Rav Samson R Hirsch notes, the commandment is not phrased as וְאָהַבְתָּ אֵת רֵעֲךָ כָּמוֹךָ, love your fellow, but rather וְאָהַבְתָּ לְרֵעֲךָ כָּמוֹךָ, which means “love to your fellow”.  Anything that relates “to your fellow”, we should treat as if it were happening to ourselves.  We should treat them as we would wish to be treated.  We should be as concerned about what happens to our fellow as we are for what happens to ourselves.  Or as Hillel put it, “That which is hateful to you, do not do to your fellow”.  That is doable, and achievable if we truly attempt it.  And it includes being tolerant of the styles, desires, and quirks of others, and appreciating that they might enjoy things that one does not share. And certainly, it includes feeling and sharing their pain and their happiness, to the extent we possibly can.

Finally, it includes going beyond one’s nature – one of the great lessons of Rav Shimon Bar Yochai. Space does not permit a full discussion, but Rav Shimon emerged from a dozen years in a cave a changed man.  He became tolerant and appreciative of simple non-scholarly people who expressed their love of Hashem in different ways than his own.  He looked to help the society around him and contribute constructively to solve community problems rather than exclusively focusing on his own spiritual growth and learning.

May we know no more sorrow, and may Lag B’Omer transform again into a day of unbridled joy, even for us curmudgeons.

Being Silenced is not Golden

The last two weeks have been excruciating for Trump voters.

Virtually all major media, the intelligentsia, all the Democrats, and even many Republicans tell us that the man we supported for President is guilty of "sedition." That he led an "insurrection" in an "attempted coup" or "putsch" that sought to destroy democracy in America.  We are guilty by association with cretins wearing "Camp Auschwitz" shirts who attacked the high citadel of America. We should cower in silence and shame over the travesty and horror that we aided and abetted. We must be fired from our jobs, cast out of polite society, and have our social media accounts shut down.  Even more so, if we dare to continue asserting that there were serious questions about the election that were never properly resolved.  In fact, all such claims have been thoroughly “debunked”; all the lawsuits Trump’s team brought were tossed out of court for lack of evidence.  Senators Cruz and Hawley, who (while denouncing the rioters in the strongest terms) persisted in objecting to the certification of the elections, should be thrown out of office and perhaps charged with sedition.

Moreover, as religious Jews, we are being scolded that we ought to be ashamed of ourselves for supporting such a monster – whom the smart people knew all along was the second coming of Hitlerימ"ש .  We should engage in a cheshbon hanefesh (personal spiritual accounting) for the terrible 'חילול ה (desecration of G-d’s honor) that we caused by advocating for such an obvious degenerate.  We must hang our heads in shame before the wiser, all-knowing liberals who always knew that Joe Biden and the Democrats were morally superior. After all, they have long been warning us that Trump is a rabble-rousing, incompetent, corrupt, arrogant white supremacist who has now proved to be the greatest imaginable danger to America and the world. We must submit to the silencing of our voices and accept our deserved lot as defeated and "canceled," while our political opponents use their now unbridled power to change America forever.

I believe that it is crucial for us – the 71 million who voted for Donald Trump and against Joe Biden – to refuse to allow ourselves to be written off due to the awful actions of a RELATIVELY tiny bunch of criminals.  (They were only one or two percent of those who came to the Trump rally, let alone the many millions who were not there at all.) Those misguided morons did so much damage – not so much to the United States – but primarily to Trump supporters and the legacy of Trump himself.  It is crucial that 70 million-plus people not feel that their voice has been stolen from them – which is exactly what the left is now trying to do in every possible way. 

I fully recognize that as an independent person living in Israel, I have the luxury of being able to speak my mind freely.  Was I still employed as the Rabbi of an American synagogue; I would undoubtedly be pressured to not publish this essay for fear of the repercussions to the congregation. (Even so, I must think twice about publishing this essay as it will possibly discourage people in the future from using my services as a tour guide, if they still remember this when COVID is finally over). But the truth does not die.  And those forced to be silent will not accept their lot forever.

This week we read Parshat Bo, in which the Exodus from Egypt comes to a crescendo.  As a symbol of freedom, the Israelites were instructed to bring the Pesach offering, with great Mesirut Nefesh (self-sacrifice).  In many places, the Hasidic literature quotes the teaching of the Ari z"l, based on the Holy Zohar, that the word Pesach is a conjunction of the words Peh and Sach – a mouth that speaks.  One of the most painful injuries suffered in Egypt (and later in many other terrible times such as the Holocaust) was that the victims were rendered mute, unable to express themselves.  Unable to express their pain, forced to bear their suffering, they could not cry out and protest for fear of making their lot even worse.  (We all know of survivors who, for years after their trauma, were still unable to talk of their suffering).  At the time of Pesach, their mouths were freed.  Indeed, on Pesach, we have the mitzvah to talk and to talk, to communicate to our children; to tell our story as an expression of freedom. Indeed, כל המרבה לספר ביציאת מצרים הרי זה משובח, the more that we talk about it, the better.

We must stand for respectful ways to disagree when necessary.  We must demand that reasonable voices on all sides deserve to be heard, and that all have the opportunity for freedom of speech and expression, providing that it is not an explicit call for violence.

We must refuse to be silenced.  We cannot let the guilty few steal our self-respect, nor accept the twisting of the truth to dismiss our legitimacy. We must hold our heads high, knowing that the tragic events of January 6th changed NOTHING about what we believe to be true. We cannot let those hypocrites – who for months and years excused and even praised the many violent protests BLM and Antifa, who repeatedly called for and engaged in acts of violence against their political foes – lecture us with their selective, newfound outrage. We must stand for respectful ways to disagree when necessary.  We must demand that reasonable voices on all sides deserve to be heard, and that all have the opportunity for freedom of speech and expression, providing that it is not an explicit call for violence.

This essay cannot fully present the many powerful counterarguments to the charges of the left.  Nevertheless, a few things must be stated.

Millions of people are not convinced that the election of Joe Biden was legitimate and proper. Contrary to the oft-repeated lie, the vast majority of the courts did NOT rule on election fraud evidence.  Rather, virtually every case held either that Trump’s advocates had no standing to bring the lawsuit (as in the US SupremeCourt) or failure to file in a timely manner (the ruling in the Pennsylvania Supreme Court). Thus, the many bad acts that were testified to by the thousands (mail trucks of fake ballots delivered, suitcases of ballots being brought out after hours, ballots of the dead and missing, keeping observers far away thus rendering them useless, etc.) were never presented in court.  The constitutional arguments that the courts changed election laws rather than by the legislature were never given a fair hearing. The recounting of possibly fraudulent ballots with the envelopes that might have proven fraud was never done.

Did President Trump act improperly in the lead-up and during the riot at the Capitol?  In short, yes.

·      He was wrong to demand that Vice President Pence overturn the certification.  The Twelfth amendment grants the Vice President no such right; it is purely a ceremonial role.  By contrast, the Senators and Congressmen DO have a right – and even duty – to object if they conclude that the election should not be certified.  (If they have no such right, the twelfth amendment is entirely valueless.) However, the President was wrong to pressure his Vice President to overturn the vote and wrong to mock him for not doing so.

·      Immediately upon hearing that things had gone awry at the Capitol, the President should have forcefully sent a message for the rioters to leave the building and stand down.   He should have known that his message – which was directed primarily not to the rioters but to the hundreds of thousands who had come to the rally – “Go home, we love you … Go home in peace” would be misconstrued by his enemies (and by some of the rioters). They would claim that he supported the violence, though he specifically said the opposite (“Go home now, we have to have peace, have to have law and order, we have to respect our great people in law and order, we don’t want anyone hurt”)

·      He should not have engaged in personal verbal attacks against his political foes, which unduly raised passions in the crowd.  (This is not a new criticism of Trump; I believe that had he not engaged in this behavior during the disastrous first debate with Biden, he would have won the election hands down.)  He, and the hundreds of thousands who came to support him, were right to exercise their first amendment rights to protest and voice their concerns.  However, he erred in turning up the temperature to make it a personal fight against evil.  The extremists on the far right (like the extremists on the far left) did not need much motivation to commit acts of violence.  Less violently than  BLM'sactions and other militants on the left for the past four years, the extremist morons of the right (many of whom are as anti-semitic as the extremist morons on the left) engaged in very damaging behavior that was foreseeable.  (In fact, there is growing evidence that most of those who broke windows and entered the Capitol were anti-Trump Antifa activists, who planned a false flag operation to make Trump and his supporters look bad). I believe that most of those who entered the Capitol were just regular law-abiding people caught up in a mob mentality and followed the crowd where they should not have.

Was the second impeachment thus called for?  Many argued that all these together added up to an impeachable offense; perhaps they are right.  Nevertheless, impeaching the President one week before the end of his term and slandering his behavior as having engaged in sedition, insurrection, and treason was an act of political vindictiveness that sought only to silence him and his supporters forever, as described earlier.

The truth is that although Mr. Trump’s actions on January 6th are rightly criticized, we were right to support a president who – despite unending hostility, enmity, and attacks since the day he was nominated – managed to accomplish a great deal of good for the United States. I did not vote for him in 2016 (neither did I vote for Hillary).  But he earned my vote in 2020, despite his personal flaws, for his many important accomplishments, and for standing up against the bullies of the left.  He restored much sanity to America’s economy, foreign policy, and national pride.  He appointed excellent judges who will leave their mark for a long time.  He restored much balance taken away by the radical left (which they are now trying to grab back).  And, of course, he was the best friend Israel ever had in the White House.

We also voted against a man with substantial ethical and competence questions hanging over him that the mainstream press kept from the citizenry.  We also fear that much of the good that was done under the Trump administration will be undone, both foreign and domestic.

It is an epic tragedy that the Trump presidency ended this way.   Perhaps his behavior can be understood as having snapped after the relentless opposition pushed him past his breaking point – not many people would have been able to continue functioning on such a high level under such relentless attack for so long.

I hope that President Biden will somehow have the wisdom not to attempt to use these circumstances to silence his political foes, as  Congress's radicals are demanding.  Pesach teaches us that being robbed of the ability to speak goes against our basic human nature, and it will not last.  Let us hope that the very divided country will find healing rather than the frightful prospect of hot or cold civil war. Let us be at the vanguard of helping in the healing – not by submitting to the excesses of the left – but by confidently holding by our convictions while respectfully engaging with our ideological foes.

Chaya Leah (Harriet) Oppenheimer: A painful loss

This week I had the tragic privilege of delivering a hesped eulogizing my dear departed mother, Chaya Leah (Harriet) Oppenheimer of blessed memory, הריני כפרת משכבה, in front of her home in Bayit Vegan. Some people have asked me if I could write down what I said; here it is, [with some further reflection over the last few days of Shiva]:

We have known this day was coming, and it was coming sooner rather than later, for some time now, as Mom became more and more ill. For the last few years, Mom has been in a slow but steady decline and suffered various health and hearing problems that made her life most difficult.

While thinking about my mother's life, especially her final great act of chessed, I recalled a famous verse. When the elderly Boaz realized that Rus wanted to marry him and perpetuate the memory of her late husband, Boaz said:

וַיֹּאמֶר בְּרוּכָה אַתְּ לַה' בִּתִּי הֵיטַבְתְּ חַסְדֵּךְ הָאַחֲרוֹן מִן הָרִאשׁוֹן לְבִלְתִּי לֶכֶת אַחֲרֵי הַבַּחוּרִים אִם דַּל וְאִם עָשִׁיר

He exclaimed, “Be blessed of Hashem, daughter! Your latest deed of kindness is greater than the first, in that you have not turned to younger men, whether poor or rich. (Ruth 3:10).

Mom was indeed "Blessed of Hashem." Moreover, the "latest (or final) deed of kindness" she gave to us was incredibly appreciated.  

As she lay in the hospital, the doctors repeatedly warned us that the end was near.  Almost two weeks ago, we gathered, and I said goodbye to her, knowing that I would probably not see her again.

But we had a Simcha coming up – the wedding of my daughter Diti.  We hoped against hope that Mom would allow the Simcha to take place unabated, as she enjoyed such a special relationship with Diti and was so impressed with Yitzi at their one meeting.  I don't even want to speculate how difficult it would have been for everyone if Mom had not held out till now. 

Tonight, the final night of Sheva Brachos, the Chosson and Kallah bentched, and then came straight to the funeral. She waited so that the simcha would be undisturbed, and now it is time for her long suffering to end. We are so extremely grateful to Hakadosh Baruch Hu, and to Mom, for this final gift, and of course for the long life that enabled her to be with us for so long.

[During the Shiva, Rav Chaim Suissa (may he blessed for all the help he has given us) related a comment from Rav Mordechai Eliyahu זצ"ל. The Rav reflected on the famous list in the third chapter of Koheles, in which Shlomo Hamelech relates that there is a time and a season for all things. It is noteworthy that almost all of the items are introduced with the letter Lamed, as in:

עֵת לָלֶדֶת וְעֵת לָמוּת עֵת לָטַעַת וְעֵת לַעֲקוֹר נָטוּעַ...

But there is one pair that comes without a Lamed

עֵת סְפוֹד וְעֵת רְקוֹד

A time for wailing and a time for dancing

Rav Eliyahu said that this is because often - perhaps always - these are not separate times, but simultaneous times.  At the very same time that we are wailing and eulogizing in this world, they are dancing at the arrival of this precious Neshama in the next world. Furthermore, just as we experienced this week, the time of crying and the time of dancing sometimes come together.  Such is the circle of life; we must learn to live with conflicting emotions at the same time.]

So, I started gathering thoughts for this at least a week ago.

Last Shabbos was Parshas Noach, which brought to mind my father's ז"ל quip that it contains a verse tailored for our family, given that his name was Noach (Avraham) and her name was Chaya:

וַיִּזְכֹּר אֱלֹהִים אֶת נֹחַ וְאֵת כָּל הַחַיָּה וְאֶת כָּל הַבְּהֵמָה אֲשֶׁר אִתּוֹ בַּתֵּבָה...

And Hashem remembered Noach, and the Chaya (beasts) and all the animals (Bereishis 8:1)

And, of course, the "animals" was a reference to all of us kids.  

She good-naturedly put up with that humor for years. It was actually a typical comment for our family and how my parents brought us up – with Mom being at the very center of it – serious matters were often mixed with fun and wit and joy, and we learned to give both their due. It was an indication of the special connection between my parents.

We move on to the next week and Parshas Lech Lecha. At the beginning, Avraham was instructed to leave his parents' home. I left my parents' home quite a long time ago. Baruch Hashem, I have lived in many places, done many things – I have even become a grandparent many times over, and most of my sisters are way ahead of me. But at a certain level, one is always one's mother's little boy, and this was always my home.

It has been so for the almost fifty years that my parents lived here. For my dear sisters, brothers-in-law and all of our children and grandchildren – (over 120 of her descendants); we have always felt that we had another home at 12 Hida Street. And, of course, Mom was the family heart and center, and this home was where it all came together.

Now we have to face the fact – with Mom lying in front of us ready for her final journey – that this era has come to an end; our parents' home is no longer. We have to leave this home, for good. We are now orphans, who will have to Lech Lecha – go forward and make it on our own, without my parents' love and support in whatever the uncertain future holds in store for us.

When I was thinking of what to say about Mom, I discovered that although I have given many Hespedim – and in this case, I knew this nifteres better than all the others I was maspid – it was a hard task as I struggled with what to say. At a surface level, Mom appeared to be just a simple, nondescript, mother and housewife. She had no "career", was not an academic, nor an intellectual – although she was very bright and well-read – she had a very simple quality to her, which was part of what made her so endearing. She was plain-spoken and straightforward. Nevertheless, everyone who knew her knew that she was truly remarkable.

Mom came from a simple background. Abba always called her, among other things, "the Girl from Brooklyn." She attended public school, loved to sing and dance (especially the Jitterbug), adored the Marx Brothers, Tommy Dorsey, "Frankie" (Sinatra) and Broadway, was an intense fan of the Brooklyn Dodgers, had many friends and much fun in her social circles – a very American childhood. This might have led her – like most of her peers and many relatives – to a far less observant life.

But besides her special parents, a preeminent influence in her life was her Bubby – Chasha (Annie) Rosenthal, whom she adored and revered.

Now is not the time to talk about Bubby Rosenthal. She was a remarkable person who did enormous chessed, including bringing over many people desperate to leave Europe, and engaged in much self-sacrifice for Shemiras Shabbos and Yiddishkeit. Mom idolized her Bubby and always thought of her as an ideal person to emulate.

Over the last few decades, I was fascinated to watch how she developed herself into becoming the quintessential Bubby to so many people, within and outside the family. Many, many people, particularly those who came from a less observant family, saw in her a welcoming and loving Bubby who accepted, loved, and inspired them, and with whom they could feel at home, and joyous and happy to bask in their Yiddishkeit. A wonderful Bubby who represented the Torah and Mesorah and the glory of Jewish motherhood.

She accomplished that in a life in which she rose to meet great challenges.  

One great challenge happened when she was 24 years old. Spending a weekend in the Catskills on Labor Day '55, she met this striking man, whom, she soon found out, was divorced, with two teen-aged children, a foreigner with a German accent, (she had no idea what a "Yekke" was), and – to top it off – was 42 years old, eighteen years older than her. 

But she saw something deep and special in him and decided almost immediately that he was the one. Her parents, friends, and relatives thought she had lost her mind, but she informed them that she was marrying him over their objections. To come back to the verse in Ruth:

לְבִלְתִּי לֶכֶת אַחֲרֵי הַבַּחוּרִים אִם דַּל וְאִם עָשִׁיר

in that you have not turned to younger men

She left Brooklyn, moved to Washington Heights, and then Monsey, and began a far more Jewishly intensive life with her husband and children.

A decade later, Monsey presented her next great challenge.

Mom loved living in Monsey.  We had a spacious home on an acre of land, with a beautiful garden and a swimming pool.  She developed life-long friendships with local women – to this day, some of her closest friendships were those she made in Monsey.  She loved the suburban living, the fresh air, and the beautiful surroundings.  

Moreover, Mom took on an important role as president of the Yeshiva of Spring Valley's women's league.  While this was not so good for me as I would frequently meet her while in detention in the principal's office, Mom devoted countless hours and tremendous energy to running programs, fundraisers, bazaars, bingo games, PTA, and many other activities for the growing school.  She was well respected and much loved and would have been happy to spend the rest of her life there.

However, Eretz Yisrael called strongly to my father.  He longed to return to the Holy Land, which he had unwillingly left thirty years before in 1940, and implored my mother to consider Aliyah.  She loved the few months that she had spent in the Land during their honeymoon. But by then, leaving Monsey, her culture, her friends, and her family was a huge sacrifice for her.  Nevertheless, as a dutiful wife knowing that Abba desperately wanted this, they sold the business and the home and she set off for Yerushalayim.

Her first number of years in Israel were very difficult.  She did not (and never did) speak Hebrew. An alien culture, environment, and climate presented significant challenges.  She found it hard to adapt to living in a far smaller home with no back yard, unable to drive and cut off from the community activities that she missed.

But she took pride in Abba's development as a talmid chacham, with strong and deep relationships with Gedolim such as Rav Shlomo Zalman Auerbach זצ"ל and an incredibly close friendship with Rav Yehoshua Neuwirth זצ"ל.  She delighted in her children's  – and then grandchildren – deepening commitment to a profoundly intensive Torah lifestyle. When he got older, she would drive him (and several of his chaveirim) to their daily Daf Yomi shiur. She came to love and appreciate Bayit Vegan and the Torah community and that the family had spiritually moved far beyond even the best of times in Monsey, and would tell anyone that Aliyah was the best move that they could have made. 

Furthermore, Mom did so much to further Torah in Bayit Vegan, over and beyond being so supportive of her children's growth. She volunteered in several organizations, notably at Shaarei Zedek hospital.  Mom attended as many shiurim as possible and loved to read and discuss Torah.  One shiur that she attended in Bayit Vegan was given by Rav Yehoshua Freilich שליט"א; when that shiur needed a new home, it was moved to 12 Hida St for many years until Corona put in on hold. And her davening – she would spend hours davening daily, and as the precious Bubby, had all of her many children, grandchildren, and great-grandchildren in mind, and tried to mention them all when lighting Shabbos candles.

But it was not all earnestness and seriousness.  Mom was best known for her sunny disposition and good humor. During the shiva, person after person remarked on how she made them feel good and comfortable, how easy it was to talk to her, and how they loved being with her and in her presence.  We had tremendous fun with her as she responded to Abba's and our crazy antics and she knew how to give us just the right look and laugh with us while also knowing how to switch back to more serious matters.  She was able to overlook slights and focus on strengthening relationships and making everyone around her better for knowing her.

She was a wonderful wife and a tower of strength for Abba.  After his disastrous first marriage, she took him from a very low point, helped him rebuild his confidence and dignity, and was largely responsible for the amazing father that we all love and miss so much.

She was a wonderful mother and pillar of support for all of us. 

She gave us strength, helped us believe in our potential, and did her best to help us through challenging life moments.  She always appeared with style and elegance, and radiated dignity, and tried to pass that on to us (with limited success for me).  And she appreciated whatever we did for her, large and small, teaching us the values of service and gratitude.

In the last few years, Mom's illnesses and hearing challenges made her life very difficult.  She rarely complained and tried her best to cope with a very difficult existence that got progressively worse.  She abhorred self-pity; a favorite quote of hers was "Getting old is not for sissies". She did her best to hide her pain and greet her visitors as cheerfully as possible.

Nevertheless, she required a great deal of help.  Our profound thanks go to her wonderful friends – notably Jeanette Meyer, Faige Morgenstern, Malka Stern, David and Shira Kahn, amongst many others – for keeping her spirits up.  We have tremendous gratitude to her attendants Annabelle and Archie, who so selflessly and lovingly dedicated themselves to her care, going far above and beyond their call of duty.  Endless thanks go to our dear friends and neighbors Miriam and Efraim Goldschmidt,  who helped in innumerable ways for many years, especially the last few years.

Most of all, words do not begin to be adequate to express the tremendous thanks I have to my amazing sisters. Busy with their own hectic lives, they selflessly devoted themselves to taking care of Mom's needs, devoting endless hours daily to making her life as comfortable as possible. It is they who kept her in her home and out of an institution in her declining years and saw to it that for the 18 years since Abba's passing, Mom was never alone for Shabbos.

May her memory be a blessing for all of us, as we come to appreciate more and more what we no longer have, as we long to reunite someday when 

בִּלַּע הַמָּוֶת לָנֶצַח וּמָחָה ה' אלוקים דִּמְעָה מֵעַל כָּל פָּנִים

 וְחֶרְפַּת עַמּוֹ יָסִיר מֵעַל כָּל הָאָרֶץ כִּי ה' דִּבֵּר

He will destroy death forever. May Hashem will wipe the tears away From all faces and put an end to the reproach of His people over all the earth— For it is Hashem who has spoken. (Yeshaya 25:8)