I am proud to the have the honor of
being a semi-regular columnist at the Queens
Jewish Link, and have come to really love this publication. It
is a breath of fresh air as compared with many other Orthodox
publications, as below.
When the editors of the QJL and I were
contemplating this arrangement, we struggled somewhat with what my
byline should be. Ultimately we came up with “Middle
of The Road”. That is because perhaps my greatest passion as a
writer and speaker on Jewish topics is on a re-assertion of what, in
my view, used to be mainstream values in the Orthodox community –
neither “Ultra-Orthodox/Chareidi” nor “Religious
Zionist/Mizrachi/Modern Orthodox” – but rather what used to be
the predominant “Middle Path”, now seemingly absent from the
public square of Jewish Thought and Practice. (I have written
about this at length)
. I continue to believe that the silent majority out there still
identifies with this point of view, although it is sadly shrinking
due to the reluctance of much of the Orthodox Rabbinic and Lay
leadership to proudly teach these values to the younger generation so
as to not offend and incur the wrath of the more extreme voices.
One area that frustrates us “middle-of
-the-roaders” intensely are the many events that cry out for a
response from our leadership, but unfortunately one one hears only a
deafening silence, presumably due to fear of offending the extremist
voices among us. In particular this occurs on those rare occasions
when the Jewish people finally find a sympathetic ear in world
opinion – a moment in time happens when the usual anti-Israel,
anti-Semitic, anti-Torah slant in the media is silenced for a bit –
only to have somebody or some Jewish organization behave in such way
as to squander that opportunity, with nary a voice raised in protest
from our leaders. Unfortunately, there are a great many examples of this; I will
only mention some glaring ones from this past year by way of example.
We now have many reports of scenes, caused by misplaced piety, which rather than upholding Torah values, bring shame, ridicule, and disrepute on all Orthodox Jews
One recurring example is the
unfortunate phenomenon of religious men refusing to sit next to women
on an airline flight, causing arguments
and flight
delays and a huge Chilul Hashem, in that the
world looks at us as religious extremists who (a) appear to consider
women as unclean and repulsive [although untrue], (b) are not
concerned about the delay and aggravation that is caused to other
passengers, and (c) feel entitled to impose their religious beliefs
and practices on others, regardless of their willingness. This blog
is not the place to get into the Halachic issues involved. Clearly,
although it is preferable for a man not to sit next to a woman –
especially on a very long flight –
due to inevitable touching that may occur and possible inappropriate
thoughts that might be aroused, it is permissible,
even to sit between two women, if necessary. It should be clear,
therefore, that if a man wishes to be machmir (personally
stringent) and avoid sitting next to a woman by pleasantly and
respectfully asking her to switch seats, graciously accepting a
refusal if given, the problem would not be in the newspapers. Nor
would this problem occur if people planned flights together with others so
that they would take up their own row, or even bought an extra seat
or fly business class, if they absolutely wished to avoid the
problem. Instead, however, we now have many reports of scenes,
caused by misplaced piety, which rather than upholding Torah
values, brings shame, ridicule, and disrepute on all Orthodox
Jews. There are many stories about Gedolim of the past, such as Rav
Shlomo Zalman Auerbach zt”l, who stayed seated when a woman sat
down next to them, and unobtrusively got off the bus at the next
stop, as to not offend his seat-mate. What response have we heard
from our leadership to stop and avoid this problem? I have not
heard any.
On another front, the black eye that
was given to the Torah world by the contemporary problem of Agunos –
where so many women are being victimized by the evil extortionist
ex-husbands who are misusing Halacha to make their lives and those of
their families miserable – was finally being salved somewhat.
There are more and more positive things happening to help resolve
these issues, such as the growing acceptance of a Halachic pre-nup
that operates not as a cure to the problem but as an effective
vaccine that prevents Agunah situations from happening. Or the
growth and success of ORA
in convincing recalcitrant husbands to
release their wives. Or the growing number of shuls that will not
give aliyos or any kibbudim to such a person. Or the emergence of
Botei Din that were more sensitive to the plight of women, and
redoubled their efforts to see to it that they were being dealt with
equitably. Far from a solution, to be sure, but significant
progress was being made. Only to be ruined by the stories of
prominent
Rabbis involved with illegal
schemes to torture husbands into giving a get, for which they
themselves charged extortionist prices. The public response from
our leadership? The messages that we decry such violence, or that we
will redouble our efforts to ostracize recalcitrant extortionist
husbands, or that we encourage Halachic pre-nups to become a
universal practice? Other than from some Modern Orthodox Gedolim, I
did not hear any.
Which brings me to this week's cause de
jour. We were all horrified at the events in Paris last week. I
sat glued to the news last Erev Shabbos, waiting to hear what would
be the fate of our brothers and sisters at Hyper Cacher. I imagined
this happening, G-d forbid, on a busy Friday at the local Kosher market, and how fearful and angry we would have been.
And then, on Sunday, came the amazing march of millions of people
protesting this action, with the full support of much of the
civilized world. I was proud to see Prime Minister Netanyahu
marching arm in arm with world leaders (except for one particular
leader. . .), and then to hear his magnificent
speech in the main synagogue in Paris. The picture of the Prime
Minister together with the various world leaders was on every
newspaper worldwide, and was the cause of much hope and goodwill.
(This despite the absurd inclusion of the crocodile-tear bearing
Mahmoud Abbas, ימ"ש, in a demonstration against terror).
All good press . . . until the story
came over the wires, from many places, about how Chareidi newspapers
had published a photoshopped version of the iconic photo in which the
female leaders who appeared in the picture were removed.
Scores
of media
outlets had a field
day with this story. Which resulted, predictably, in a shift of
the focus from the glory of this worldwide unity and support, to an
opportunity to bash Orthodox Jews as fundamentalist denigrators of
women, who could not tolerate the appearance of a modestly dressed
woman in their newspaper, certainly not as an important world leader.
The Guardian, a newspaper known for its
unfriendly attitude towards Jews in general carried the explanation
of this decision by the editor of HaMevaser.
Binyamin
Lipkin, editor of Hamevaser, said the newspaper is a family
publication that must be suitable for all audiences, including young
children.
“The
eight-year-old can’t see what I don’t want him to see,” he told
Israel’s Channel 10 television station. “True, a picture of
Angela Merkel should not ruin the child, but if I draw a line, I have
to put it there from the bottom all the way to the top.”
He
also said he did not want to tarnish the memories of the people
killed in the attacks.
“Including
a picture of a woman into something so sacred, as far as we are
concerned, it can desecrate the memory of the martyrs and not the
other way around,” he said.
I will not waste the reader's time in
refuting this dangerous nonsense, and decrying how this statement
creates the impression of a perverted attitude towards women and
proper Chinuch of our children. What exercises me, however, is this:
Do I expect to hear any statement from our leaders disassociating themselves, or giving us hadracha as to how this phenomenon causes major Chilul Hashem and ruins moments of grace for the Orthodox community and how we need to learn from it?
I am not going to hold my breath.
Now I understand that major Gedolim
have given instructions to other Orthodox publications to not publish
any pictures of women. Presumably this is because they are concerned
about a slippery slope in which if they allow pictures of women who
are dressed 100% within the Halachos of Tznius, there may be
slippage over time to other pictures which might be seen as more
problematic. In this I am happy about the policy of the Queens
Jewish Link, which, as Rabbinic advisor Rabbi Yoel Schonfeld has told
me, relies on the good sense and taste of the editors and publishers
of the paper to allow pictures that will show only positive and
dignified images of women. Surely this is the way of the “Middle
Group” I mentioned above, being neither too lax nor too stringent
in portraying Yiddishkeit and Women in a wholesome and proper light.
But if these publications feel that any picture of a woman, no
matter how modest or dignified, should not be shown, than why show
any picture at all? Or at least show it in a way that they are not
altering the truth, as did HaModia,
to their credit. Do they not realize the damage they will do – not
only to world opinion of Orthodox Jews – but to the Chinuch of
their own children, who will undoubtedly discover that the news that
they are being fed is doctored and censored and unreliable, thus
encouraging the curious even more to find outside sources for their
information? Do they not understand that a growing number of
Chareidi young people are either being radicalized in being
over-zealous about Halachic matters, or cynical about the false
messages that are being presented by their community?
In closing, I want to state clearly
that I am not, G-d Forbid, casting aspersion on the actions, or lack
thereof, of Gedolei Yisroel. Rather, I
am giving voice to the exasperation of many that, too often, the
messages that are being heard from the leadership, or lack of such
messages, are a product of the pressure of extreme voices who are the
“squeaky wheels” that garner attention, rather than those of the
silent but shrinking majority who are far more nuanced and moderate.
I know, from personal conversation with several leading Gedolim,
that their emphasis is on דרכיה דרכי נועם (The Torah's
ways are of Pleasantness) and they are upset and frustrated by the
messages that are often published as being supported by “The
Gedolim” when they do not support these attitudes. I implore more
and more of the silent majority to speak up, and let the true
leadership know that we are supportive of the “Middle Road” way
that used to be the norm, and we want to hear the messages that they
really wish to proclaim, and not the rhetoric that the extremist
voices are constantly pushing for.
Baruch Hashem we, in Queens, live in an
island of relative sanity in the Orthodox world. May the example of
our communities grow, and our Hashkafa become prominent as it once
was in the Jewish world.
1 comment:
Amen.
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