Sunday, March 3, 2024

A Time for New Thinking in the Hardi World – Part I

Preface:  I first wrote this essay about two months ago, and have been waiting for it to be published in the Jewish Press before putting it on my blog.  While I don't think it contains anything controversial, they were worried that some in the Charedi community would be upset with it.   In the meantime, much of what I predicted is coming more and more true every day, and the urgency for consideration of these ideas only grows.

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One thing is clear to almost everyone in Israel: The world has changed since Simchas Torah.  There is no going back to the way things were.

The subhuman monsters who murdered, raped, and beheaded our brothers and sisters have shaken the world.  In Israel, for the most part, there is a tremendous unity of purpose and a sense of brotherhood to fight together for our national future.  Unlike what was going on before October 7, when left and right, religious and secular, were at each other's throats, there are now countless examples of Jews of all types coming together, appreciating each other, finding common ground as Jews, and hoping together for Hashem’s help.  Many see in this great hope that it is part of the necessary conditions that will hopefully lead to our final redemption, speedily in our days.

However, I believe that the current scenario is very fragile.  I am old enough to have lived through the Six Day War and Yom Kippur War and intifadas and other crises and have seen similar unifying moments (although this seems to be the most powerful yet).  In all those cases the unity waned soon after the crisis abated, and unfortunately, the Sinas Chinom that we Jews excel at returned quite quickly.

It is already happening.  The leaders of the “Kaplan Movement” who regularly led rallies of tens of thousands paralyzing the country and did so much damage in the name of “Democracy”, found themselves on October 8 without a platform on which to bloviate and feel important. Unfortunately, they found a way to be “relevant” again.  They are leading a growing movement that is cynically using the pain of the families of hostages to whip up anti-Netanyahu and anti-government protests, blaming him and the government for the security failures on October 7 and demanding that Netanyahu resign immediately.  (They, of course, refuse to admit their part in causing the national weakness that our enemies saw and blame it all on others.)  They have returned to the streets in Kaplan and at the homes of cabinet ministers and soon will attempt mass rallies countrywide.  While this is, thankfully, still only a minority view, the seething hatred of many is just under the surface, waiting to be stoked by extremists on both sides. There is enormous resentment against the leadership of the Army and the government that left Israel so vulnerable on October 7.  Most sane people understand that the Day of Reckoning must come after the war, but the anger and desire for heads to roll bubbles up more and more frequently.  When this finally happens, it is hard to envision much unity that will survive.

My concern, however, is mostly with the Haredi public.  As I wrote repeatedly before October 7, it is plain that much, if not most, of the anger and protests that were going on were not actually caused by “Judicial Reform”, but rather by the anger and fear that the Secular public has of the growing power and numbers of the religious, and particularly Haredi, community.  They feared that the predominantly secular liberal State of Israel was in danger of becoming far more religious and conservative and were strengthened in those fears by slander and lies in the media and from the intelligentsia.  

What is crucial for us to consider is why so many otherwise reasonable fellow Jews harbor such resentment against the Haredi community.  We need to understand that from the perspective of the secular public, there is a huge monolithic Hareidi community that (a) refuses to serve in the Army or engage in National Service, (b) seeks huge sums from the government coffers to fund their institutions and support thousands of families as the price for their participation in the government, (c) often seeks to impose Halachic restrictions on those who are not interested in observance, and (d) contains those who frequently engage in despicable behavior such as demonstrations for their causes in which they call police and soldiers Nazis.

While much of this is exaggerated by the overwhelmingly anti-religious media, there is too much of it that is true.  What concerns me is that once the war is over, there will be no going back to the way things were, and I believe that – unless things change, and change quickly and significantly – there will be a major blowup between the secular and religious public.  Allow me to explain.

On the one hand, in many ways, the war has sparked a growing appreciation of the Chareidim.  It is widely recognized that the largely Chareidi heroes of Zaka and Ichud Hatzala and other Chessed organizations have been providing vital volunteer service under incredibly difficult conditions.  Moreover, the unbelievable level of giving and Chessed exhibited are simply incredible.  Along with many secular organizations, have provided food, lodging, and every possible need to displaced families.  There has been massive and overflowing support for any possible help to the soldiers, including the purchase of needed equipment.  There has been a great spiritual revival among the soldiers in which they requested and Chareidim have provided tens of thousands of tzitzis and tefillin and other religious articles, which has been a major Kiddush Hashem.  There is no question that, for many, the negative stereotypes and prejudices have been broken.

And yet – many issues are bubbling to the surface, causing a greater and greater rift.  These include:

  • This war is incurring a gargantuan financial cost.  Not only to replenish military equipment but to rebuild the many villages destroyed, to finance grants for the half million reservists and businesses (e.g. tour guides like me) out of work for months, and the thousands of families who have been displaced from their homes and businesses.  As many billions must be expended on these vital costs, there will be little sympathy to finance yeshivas and kollels at the levels that they have grown accustomed to requesting.  This goes not only for the government but also for philanthropists who will be directing their donations elsewhere.

  • The blanket exemption for all Haredi young men from the army and national service.  As things now stand, the army will begin large-scale drafting of yeshiva students on April 1 unless the Supreme Court or government intervenes.  Any tolerance for continuing the exemption on the part of the Israeli public is quickly evaporating, as the crying need for more soldiers grows daily The old arguments for exemption are now completely unpersuasive to the unconvinced.  Those include:

    • They are needed to learn Torah full-time to protect the soldiers.” – Although one might argue that this is valid for those who are actually learning seriously full-time and not engaged in other activities (which is not a consensus halachic view), there are many who do not meet that criterion.  It is wonderful that thousands of young men did so much Chessed and gave so much help to those in need, but one might rightfully ask, “Why are they not in the army?  Taking nothing away from the efforts, goodwill, and kindness of the young Harredi volunteers, it cannot begin to compare to the sacrifice and difficulties faced by those on the battlefield and in danger zones.  Why should they not be asked to put themselves in harm's way when non-Haredi young men do not have that choice?  Why is it that virtually every non-Haredi family has sons and close relatives and dear friends in the army while the Haredi public is largely insulated from the horrors of losing our young heroes?
    • There is only a relatively small number learning; we need to rebuild the Torah world” – this was a very valid argument in the post-Holocaust 1950s when there were just a few hundred full-time yeshiva students in the whole country.  Today, Baruch Hashem, the religious community has exploded, and there are now hundreds of thousands who seek to be classified as full-time learners.  The Torah world has been restored to levels not seen since the Churban Bais HaMikdash, and perhaps before.  Moreover, the financial cost of so many who do not work, or work at menial side jobs is enormous and growing and unfair to the Israeli taxpayers.  There are no fathers in law to support this level of need, and the secular Israelis will not stand for it any longer.
    • It is difficult or impossible to remain a religious God-fearing Jew in the Army.” – Anyone who has been watching the countless examples of religious soldiers who have created enormous Kiddush Hashem and are stellar examples of Yiras Shamayim knows this is simply false.  Yes, it is true that sixty years ago, the army was seen by the secular leadership as an educational institution that would persuade young men to leave the old religious Golus mentality behind and become proud secular Israelis.  However, times have changed.  That is no longer the case.  If, instead of resisting it, the Haredi leadership cooperated in creating an appropriate Hesder-like framework for Haredim that would maintain proper standards of Kashrus and Tzniyus and serious Torah study and Tefilla it could be easily accomplished.  
Haredim set to make up 16% of Israel's population by 2030 - IDI report - Israel Culture - The Jerusalem Post


    • The army does not really need the Haredim – they have more than enough people.”  Clearly, even before the Investigative Committee begins its work, it is obvious that a prime reason for the October 7 failure was an over-reliance on technology.  The billion-dollar smart fence that supposedly obviated the need for as many boots on the ground to protect and defend worked about as well as the Maginot line.  Moreover, the very real threat that Hezbollah in the North and Fatah in Yehuda and Shomron, assisted by other Muslim countries, will join in the fighting is keeping half a million soldiers on the front lines.  There is a deep need for a larger pool of fighters.

There are over 500 soldiers who have given their lives.  Nearly twelve thousand have been wounded, of which nearly three thousand required hospitalization. Virtually none of these were from the Charedi community.

Some young Haredi men are not willing to be accused, as Moshe did, of “Shall your brothers go to war while you sit here?” (Bamidbar 32:6), and a few hundred enlisted.  There is a groundswell of support within the Haredi public for a new approach but it is not being addressed by the Haredi leadership, who largely refuse to consider any change and foster an atmosphere that severely deters any young Charedim from serving.

This was widely seen last week when, unfortunately, MK Porush was chosen to deliver the news that due to the desperate need for more soldiers, 1300 National Religious young men would be pulled from their yeshiva and drafted earlier than planned, and thus would not complete their pre-Army Torah training in the Medrashot. Furthermore, basic army service would be extended for several months, and reserve soldiers would now serve far more frequently and for longer periods than before.  The irony of a Chareidi MK who seeks to shield his constituents from the very service he was demanding of others was not lost on many Israelis, particularly the National Religious community.

Recently as well, Dr. Tehila Elizur, a well-respected Dati Leumi teacher and lecturer, circulated a letter addressed to Charedi Mothers of young men now exempted from the Army.  She exclaimed, in part, "This reality is no longer tolerable.  it is impossible to live here without an army, and we are all responsible for one another: it is not possible that others risk their children for me when I and my children will not risk for them. ... It's time for your sons to enlist in the IDF… We no longer stake our hopes on the leaders of Charedi society, the heads of yeshiva and kollels, politicians, and businessmen. …I wish to direct this painful voice to ultra-Orthodox women because I feel they are the ones who can lead the change, even if it is slow and gradual, within Charedi society. "

  • “Young charedi men can not be allowed to enter National Service (Sherut Leumi), as this is a step on the slippery slope towards the army” – It is clear that many young Haredim are already engaged in forms of Sherut Leumi, whether it is by volunteering for Hatazala, Zaka, Chaveirim, Yad Sarah, or many other wonderful organizations.  If only this were able to be recognized officially as Sherut Leumi, many of the complaints about those who shirk their national service would be mitigated.

  • The discouragement of young men from receiving a secular education – I am not writing regarding those who are really learning full-time, although an argument can be made there as well.  But many, many young men are prevented from supporting their families properly by a lack of willingness to allow them to have a proper education and engage in a lucrative profession.  As I argued above, the world has changed since sixty years ago.  With the percentage of Chareidi children over 25%, and growing, the present economic condition is unsustainable from within, and the large public will rebel at supporting it.
I could go on, but this essay is already long.  In a coming essay, which may have to wait for the end of the war, I will address another very important part of this issue.  But for now, I wish to underscore the point that, in all likelihood, the Charedi community will face fierce resistance if they try to make the same demands that they made in the past before joining a government coalition.    It is high time to recognize that times have changed and that the once precarious state of the Yeshivas and Limud HaTorah has greatly improved.  While a generation ago it might have been necessary to fiercely oppose the draft of any Chareidi young man, as all hands were needed on the Yeshiva decks, the Chareidim are now a huge, powerful, and growing community, who need to do their share of the national service.

Although there is much goodwill that has been generated, as described above, the secular public is likely to have a very short memory when it comes to forming a government after the war, and these resentments are sure to boil over. As it stands right now, the polls indicate that there is little chance that the Haredim will be included in the next government coalition.  I can only hope that those who have power and influence in the Haredi world will consider these issues and find positive ways to address these needs before, God forbid, we descend into a miserable power struggle that will likely not end well.



Tuesday, January 23, 2024

In Spite Of Your Blood, You Shall Live

 I am very grateful to my dear daughter and son-in-law Diti and Yitzi for the honor of being the Sandak at my grandson's Bris…it was an offer I couldn't refuse.  

Actual Movie Poster from the 1970s

I hope that I performed my role well. When considering my role, I imagined that it goes beyond just sitting there and holding the baby's legs. Chazal say that the reason that – obviously in other cases – they look for a Tzadik to be the Sandak is that the Sandak's lap functions as a Mizbeach, on which the parents offer their precious, vulnerable, tiny little son – whom they brought into the world with so much effort and love – as an offering to Hashem. Little and innocent as he is, he undergoes a painful procedure with a knife that is difficult for him and, even more so, for his mother and father. But it is a traumatic yet necessary process to become a member of the Jewish people.

This past Shabbos Parshas Bo, we read about the first mitzvos that were given to Klal Yisrael. Each family in Egypt was to take a perfect young male sheep or goat, guard it in their home for four days, and then slaughter it on Erev Pesach. They would then eat of it, after having circumcised themselves. Why were these two given as the first mitzvot? Rashi quotes the Midrash:

Rav Masya ben Harash said [in response]: Behold He [God] says: “And I passed by you and saw you, and behold your time was the time of love” (Ezek. 16:8). The [time for the fulfillment of the] oath that I swore to Abraham that I would redeem his children has arrived. But they [the Children of Israel] had no commandments in their hands with which to occupy themselves in order that they be redeemed, as it is said: “but you were naked and bare” (Ezek. 16:7). So He gave them two mitzvoth, the blood of the Passover and the blood of the circumcision. They circumcised themselves on that night, as it is said: “wallowing in your blood (בְּדָמַיִךְ)” (ibid., verse 6), with the two [types of] blood.

The time for the Geulah had arrived, but Am Yisrael was not worthy of it. There were two problems. First, they had no positive mitzvos. They had not demonstrated their willingness to give up everything for Hashem. Yes, they had suffered and gone through enormous difficulties, but they had not shown their true nature of self-sacrifice. Thus, they needed to be willing to submit themselves and their children to Milah. To be able to stand before Hashem with the merit of having been willing to undergo a painful challenge, just because that is what Hashem required of them.

And they also had to bring the Korban Pesach. This was to rid themselves of the negative – the idolatrous, depraved Egyptian culture in which they had become enmeshed until the 49th level of depravity. They had to be willing to take those values and that way of life, publicly repudiate it, and then destroy it while transforming it into an offering to the Ribbono Shel Olam.

In the merit of those two mitzvot, while they were suffering, the Geula came. As Rashi wrote, and as we mention in the Haggadah, and as we said during the Bris ceremony

וָאֶעֱבֹר עָלַיִךְ וָאֶרְאֵךְ מִתְבּוֹסֶסֶת בְּדָמָיִךְ וָאֹמַר לָךְ בְּדָמַיִךְ חֲיִי וָאֹמַר לָךְ בְּדָמַיִךְ חֲיִ

Hashem passed over us, saw us wallowing in blood, and said

 “IN your blood shall you Live!, In spite of your blood, you shall live!

We pretend that we are having a normal celebration in normal times, when in fact, every one of us is in great danger

This sentence has special significance for us in this unique, terrible, and special year.

Two weeks ago, Lonni and I had the privilege of going to the south with a mission of Rabbis and saw some terrible things. We walked through the destruction and horror of burnt-out homes in Kfar Aza. We walked on the killing field that was the vestige of the Nova Festival at Kibbutz Rayim. We met with fathers who had lost their children, with mothers who had seen people brutalized, and with parents whose children are now in Gaza for 108 days, subject to unimaginable terror. We had the great privilege to meet with displaced families and with a few of the hundreds of thousands of our best and finest – the brave young men and women who are putting their lives in danger every day in order to protect us. It is them, with Hashem's help, that give us the opportunity to sit here today and pretend that we are having a normal celebration in normal times, when in fact, every one of us is in great danger with enemies in the North and the South and throughout Israel – let alone the haters in the rest of the world – determined to hurt and to kill us.


Photography by Yehoshua Halevi


We are truly lying and wallowing in the blood of over 2,000 of our dead brothers and sisters and many more wounded…and desperately clinging to the message from Hashem: 

"IN your blood shall you Live!; In spite of your blood, you shall live!

Much of the time, we are walking like the majority of the Jewish people during the plague of Choshech – darkness. We do not see how much damage our pettiness and parochial thinking cause. We do not want to grab on to the signs of the great redemption to come, preferring to remain in our comfortable conceptions. There are signs all around us; there is a treasure that is ours for the taking, and a great light available to us, but too many of us see only what brings darkness. This is what caused so many to fall away during that time. It is our challenge to rise up and see that 

וּלְכָל בְּנֵי יִשְׂרָאֵל הָיָה אוֹר בְּמוֹשְׁבֹתָם

It is up to us to see the coming Geulah, to rise up and to hold on to the hand that Hashem is stretching out to us, and to dedicate ourselves to using this special time to bring about unity in Klal Yisroel. That is the only thing that can bring the Geulah.

My bracha to my grandson is that he will grow up to make us all proud in helping to lead the next generation of Jews who will be living in times of Geulah. He is a lucky kid; he has such fantastic parents overflowing with love, wisdom, and caring, who have already shown their parenting skills with his amazing older brother. They will continue to raise their children together with all extended children that they both influence so beautifully in the teaching that they do in the Seminary and in the Yeshiva to be inspired and dedicated young Jews

I am confident they will grow great in Torah and Jewish wisdom and become fountains of inspiration for all those who will know them.

I hope that Akiva Yona and Moshe Dovid will be blessed to live in a time of peace and that by the time they reach maturity, Mashiach will already long be here. But if, chas veshalom, they live in a troubled time, I hope they will be among those who are Mikadesh Shem Shamayim by serving in the defense of our people and putting all of our Torah values into practice in the most beautiful of ways, taking their place among the heroes of Klal Yisroel as they bring the Geulah, במהרה בימינו

Sunday, December 31, 2023

Inspiring Prayers for the Downfall of Hamas and Return of the Hostages

I don't have any original thoughts to share in this essay.  It is not a Torah thought, or a social commentary or a rant.  It is just a thought that may help others in the prayers we are all saying.

I am quite sure that everyone is adding to their prayers since Simchas Torah, each in their own way.  I try to have some more concentration (Kavana) in the prayers for healing the sick, and releasing those in bondage, and silencing the slanderers, and in general in hearing our prayers.  In addition, I have been saying the daily Tehillim, such that one finishes the whole book once a month. A very small effort on my part, I should be doing much more, but (unlike my holy wife), that is where I am at.

Reciting the whole book of Tehillim has made me reflect.  In the many public prayers I have seen, it seems that they always recite certain famous ones.  Psalms 20, 121,130, and 142 are always the ones on the menu, and they are all beautiful and inspiring. However, when reading through the whole sefer, certain chapters particularly touch you and seem so extremely relevant to current events.

There are two that would seem to me to be exactly on point, that should be better known.  I hope that you will consider adding them to your daily tefilla, and perhaps suggest them for the congregation with whom you daven.


Here they are in the original and in English translation (adapted from the wonderful translation of the Israel Bible).


Psalm140 - A prayer to save us from the monsters of Hamas

לַמְנַצֵּחַ מִזְמוֹר לְדָוִד.  חַלְּצֵנִי יְ-הוָה מֵאָדָם רָע מֵאִישׁ חֲמָסִים תִּנְצְרֵנִי.  אֲשֶׁר חָשְׁבוּ רָעוֹת בְּלֵב כָּל יוֹם יָגוּרוּ מִלְחָמוֹת.  שָׁנֲנוּ לְשׁוֹנָם כְּמוֹ נָחָשׁ חֲמַת עַכְשׁוּב תַּחַת שְׂפָתֵימוֹ סֶלָה.  שָׁמְרֵנִי יְ-הוָה מִידֵי רָשָׁע מֵאִישׁ חֲמָסִים תִּנְצְרֵנִי אֲשֶׁר חָשְׁבוּ לִדְחוֹת פְּעָמָי.  טָמְנוּ גֵאִים פַּח לִי וַחֲבָלִים פָּרְשׂוּ רֶשֶׁת לְיַד מַעְגָּל מֹקְשִׁים שָׁתוּ לִי סֶלָה.  אָמַרְתִּי לַי-הוָה אֵלִי אָתָּה הַאֲזִינָה יְ-הוָה קוֹל תַּחֲנוּנָי.  יֱ-הֹוִה אֲ-דֹנָי עֹז יְשׁוּעָתִי סַכֹּתָה לְרֹאשִׁי בְּיוֹם נָשֶׁק.  אַל תִּתֵּן יְ-הוָה מַאֲוַיֵּי רָשָׁע זְמָמוֹ אַל תָּפֵק יָרוּמוּ סֶלָה.  רֹאשׁ מְסִבָּי עֲמַל שְׂפָתֵימו יכסומו [יְכַסֵּמוֹ].  ימיטו [יִמּוֹטוּ] עֲלֵיהֶם גֶּחָלִים בָּאֵשׁ יַפִּלֵם בְּמַהֲמֹרוֹת בַּל יָקוּמוּ.  אִישׁ לָשׁוֹן בַּל יִכּוֹן בָּאָרֶץ אִישׁ חָמָס רָע יְצוּדֶנּוּ לְמַדְחֵפֹת.  ידעת [יָדַעְתִּי] כִּי יַעֲשֶׂה יְ-הוָה דִּין עָנִי מִשְׁפַּט אֶבְיֹנִים.  אַךְ צַדִּיקִים יוֹדוּ לִשְׁמֶךָ יֵשְׁבוּ יְשָׁרִים אֶת פָּנֶיךָ.


For the leader. A psalm of David.

Rescue me, Hashem, from the men of Hamas (מֵאִישׁ חֲמָסִים - evil men) ; save me from the lawless, whose minds are full of evil schemes, who plot war every day. They sharpen their tongues like serpents; spiders' poison is on their lips. Selah.

Hashem, keep me out of the clutches of the wicked; save me from the men of Hamas (מֵאִישׁ חֲמָסִים - evil men) who scheme to make me fall. Arrogant men laid traps with ropes for me; they spread out a net along the way; they set snares for me. Selah.

I said to Hashem: You are my God; give ear, Hashem, to my pleas for mercy. Hashem, my Lord, the strength of my deliverance, You protected my head on the day of battle. Hashem, do not grant the desires of the wicked; do not let their plan succeed, else they be exalted. Selah.

May the heads of those who beset me be covered with the mischief of their lips. May coals of fire drop down upon them, and they be cast into pits, never to rise again. Let slanderers have no place in the land; let the evil men of Hamas (אִישׁ חָמָס רָע - evil of the lawless man) be trapped in pressurized places.

I know that Hashem will Champion the cause of the poor;  the rights of the needy. Righteous men shall surely praise Your name; the upright shall dwell in Your presence.



Psalm 88 - A prayer for the Hostages

I find myself tearing up when reading this one while thinking about the hostages, the terrible holes they are being kept in, the hopelessness they and their families face, and what they are going through, particularly the women.


שִׁיר מִזְמוֹר לִבְנֵי קֹרַח לַמְנַצֵּחַ עַל מָחֲלַת לְעַנּוֹת מַשְׂכִּיל לְהֵימָן הָאֶזְרָחִי.  יְ-הוָה אֱ-לֹהֵי יְשׁוּעָתִי יוֹם צָעַקְתִּי בַלַּיְלָה נֶגְדֶּךָ.  תָּבוֹא לְפָנֶיךָ תְּפִלָּתִי הַטֵּה אָזְנְךָ לְרִנָּתִי.  כִּי שָׂבְעָה בְרָעוֹת נַפְשִׁי וְחַיַּי לִשְׁאוֹל הִגִּיעוּ.  נֶחְשַׁבְתִּי עִם יוֹרְדֵי בוֹר הָיִיתִי כְּגֶבֶר אֵין אֱיָל.  בַּמֵּתִים חָפְשִׁי כְּמוֹ חֲלָלִים שֹׁכְבֵי קֶבֶר אֲשֶׁר לֹא זְכַרְתָּם עוֹד וְהֵמָּה מִיָּדְךָ נִגְזָרוּ.  שַׁתַּנִי בְּבוֹר תַּחְתִּיּוֹת בְּמַחֲשַׁכִּים בִּמְצֹלוֹת.  עָלַי סָמְכָה חֲמָתֶךָ וְכָל מִשְׁבָּרֶיךָ עִנִּיתָ סֶּלָה.  הִרְחַקְתָּ מְיֻדָּעַי מִמֶּנִּי שַׁתַּנִי תוֹעֵבוֹת לָמוֹ כָּלֻא וְלֹא אֵצֵא.  עֵינִי דָאֲבָה מִנִּי עֹנִי קְרָאתִיךָ יְ-הוָה בְּכָל יוֹם שִׁטַּחְתִּי אֵלֶיךָ כַפָּי.  הֲלַמֵּתִים תַּעֲשֶׂה פֶּלֶא אִם רְפָאִים יָקוּמוּ יוֹדוּךָ סֶּלָה.  הַיְסֻפַּר בַּקֶּבֶר חַסְדֶּךָ אֱמוּנָתְךָ בָּאֲבַדּוֹן.  הֲיִוָּדַע בַּחֹשֶׁךְ פִּלְאֶךָ וְצִדְקָתְךָ בְּאֶרֶץ נְשִׁיָּה.  וַאֲנִי אֵלֶיךָ יְ-הוָה שִׁוַּעְתִּי וּבַבֹּקֶר תְּפִלָּתִי תְקַדְּמֶךָּ.  לָמָה יְ-הוָה תִּזְנַח נַפְשִׁי תַּסְתִּיר פָּנֶיךָ מִמֶּנִּי.  עָנִי אֲנִי וְגֹוֵעַ מִנֹּעַר נָשָׂאתִי אֵמֶיךָ אָפוּנָה.  עָלַי עָבְרוּ חֲרוֹנֶיךָ בִּעוּתֶיךָ צִמְּתוּתֻנִי.  סַבּוּנִי כַמַּיִם כָּל הַיּוֹם הִקִּיפוּ עָלַי יָחַד.  הִרְחַקְתָּ מִמֶּנִּי אֹהֵב וָרֵעַ מְיֻדָּעַי מַחְשָׁךְ.



A song. A psalm of the sons of Korach. For the leader; on mahalath leannoth. A maskil of Hayman the Ezrahite.

Hashem, God of my deliverance, when I cry out in the night before You, let my prayer reach You; incline Your ear to my cry. For I am sated with misfortune; I am at the brink of Sheol (the grave). I am numbered with those who go down to the Pit; I am a helpless man, abandoned among the dead, like bodies lying in the grave of whom You are mindful no more, and who are cut off from Your care. 

You have put me at the bottom of the Pit, in the darkest places, in the depths. Your fury lies heavy upon me; You afflict me with all Your breakers. Selah. 

You make my companions shun me; You make me abhorrent to them; I am shut in and do not go out. My eyes pine away from affliction; I call to You, Hashem, each day; I stretch out my hands to You. 

Will You work wonders only after I am dead? Do the ghosts rise to praise You? Selah. 

Are your faithful care be recounted in the grave, Your faithfulness in the place of perdition? Can your wonders be made known in the netherworld, Your beneficent deeds in the land of oblivion?

As for me, I cry out to You, Hashem; each morning my prayer greets You. 

Why, Hashem, do You reject me, do You hide Your face from me? From my youth, I have been afflicted and near death; I suffer Your terrors wherever I turn. 

Your fury overwhelms me; Your terrors destroy me. They swirl about me like water all day long; they encircle me on every side. You have put friend and neighbor far from me and my companions out of my sight.


May Hashem's will be that we see the full victory over our enemies and the safe return of our loved ones very soon!

Wednesday, December 20, 2023

Swords of Iron – Who is the Real Mother?

The Haftarah we read this past Shabbos, Parshas Miketz, is rarely read.  The last time was two years ago,  but not for twenty years before that. It will not be read again for another seventeen years.

Nevertheless, it is one of the most well-known stories in Tanach. Two women came to Shlomo HaMelech to decide who the mother of the live baby was.  He famously decreed, "Bring a sword and split the baby in two!" causing the real mother to beg him to spare the life of the child.  The other said, "Well enough, neither you nor I will have a son".  Disregarding the well-known aside regarding the two potential mothers-in-law, this was held up as an example of Shlomo's great wisdom, which the whole nation marveled at.



A dear friend commented that he did not understand how this was such a "Groiser Chochma". As he put it, many a difficult Tosfos he struggled with in high school seemed to contain far more wisdom! I answered him with an insight that I heard years ago from Rav Yissochor Frand, who commented on how one can appreciate the genius of a Gadol like Rav Yosef Dov Soloveichik. As he put it, "After the shiur in which the Rav explained the p'shat in the sugya, one has the inescapable feeling that it is plain to see that– obviously – that is the true p'shat…it could not possibly be anything else. But you would have never thought of it yourself."

But perhaps the story of the two women might have more significant and lasting implications. Rav Avraham Ibn Ezra certainly seemed to think so. He included a reference to it in his beautiful poem Tzama Nafshi, enshrined in the Shabbos Zemiros, a poem so great that Rav Nachman Bulman zt" l told me that Rav Eliyahu Mokotovsky (Ki-Tov) wondered how the neshama of the Even Ezra could stay in his body while writing such elevated words! He wrote:   

רְאֵה, לִגְבֶרֶת אֱמֶת שִׁפְחָה נוֹאֶמֶת, לֹא כִי, בְנֵךְ הַמֵּת וּבְנִי הֶחָי

"See who is the true mistress, when the handmaid proclaims, 'No, your son is dead while my son lives!'"

I read a beautiful insight from Rav Ronen Lovitz, the Rav of Nir Etzion, in which he commented that Shlomo's judicial tactic gave us a vital barometer to sense which side has the authentic truth in a dispute. If one side is prepared to destroy the subject of the dispute to prevent the other from having it, their claim to the truth becomes very suspect. Instead, the side willing to forego their personal interest so that the subject may thrive, even without them, demonstrates their virtue and authenticity.

It is such in this week's encounter between Yehuda and Yoseph, whereby Yehuda is willing to sacrifice his entire life and future so that Binyamin may live and return to his family.

The argument is about the mother – who are the legitimate sons of the Motherland of Eretz Yisrael

And it is so in the argument between the mistress and the handmaid, who, of course, are none other than Sarah and Hagar. Sarah's son Yitzchak is the prime heir of the legacy of Avraham, but throughout history, is challenged by Yishmael seeking to usurp his position and proclaim that he, and not Yitzchak, is the live son. Anyone even slightly familiar with the Koran knows that it contains a rewrite of history: it is Yishmael offered at the Akeida, Yitzchak who is sent away, and so on. The Muslims claim that they have the true religion, that the Torah is a distortion, and that the "son of the handmaiden" is the true bearer of the truth.

Ibn Ezra protests: the mistress is the true mother of the son, all the proclamations of the handmaid notwithstanding. Here, the argument is not about the son as much as the mother – who are the legitimate sons of the Motherland of Eretz Yisrael?

This quarrel is very much at the center of today's dispute, a millennium later. The Arabs claim that they are the true heirs and owners of Palestine, from the river to the sea, leaving no room at all for the Jews. Here, the argument is not about the son as much as who the mother is – who are the legitimate sons of the Motherland of Eretz Yisrael?

Throughout the modern dispute, Am Yisrael has repeatedly acted as a true son. We have been willing, again and again, to make very painful concessions to bring about peace and harmony in the land. We have been willing to cede major territories, provide humanitarian assistance, and grant many rights to the Arabs despite having received none of that when banished from all the Arab countries and despite the many horrible acts of violence that we have had to endure from them. From the original partition plan, through many attempts to make peace, through the accursed Oslo Accords and even the disengagement from Gaza/Gush Katif, Israel has made painful sacrifices. In return, it has received violence, mayhem, and destruction, encapsulating the motif of the false mother: "Neither you nor I will have a son".

It goes even further. In a strange twist of fate, we are witness to the awful rise of antisemitism and hostility of the world, in which they accuse Israel of being the "mistress", mistreating the "poor handmaid". According to their narrative, Israel engages in imperialistic colonial abuse, exploiting its greater power over the weak, pitiable refugees who have no choice but to engage in terror in the "concentration camp" that Israel keeps them in.

The Tanach does not reveal which of the two women – the plaintiff or the defendant – was the true mother. Rav Lovitz suggests that perhaps this is to teach that the truth is not arrived at by observing who is the mistress and who is the handmaid or who is in a higher or lower social stratum. The truth is seen in their words and actions.

In the current milieu, the blame for the present misery of the Arabs is to be laid solely at their own doorstep, having rejected the hand that sought to help them and instead cruelly bitten it in a parade of horrors. Shlomo merely called for a sword to be raised to solve that dispute. To prevail over an organization with two swords on its banner, we must resolutely stand for the truth with Iron Swords of our own.

With the help of Hashem, may the evil ones be destroyed, and may we live in peace in our Motherland with those who will accept our outstretched hand of Truth.


Published in the Queens Jewish Link 12/21/23

Thursday, December 14, 2023

Who can Interpret our Current Nightmare?

I have read many Divrei Torah published over the last two months, in which – again and again – it was noted that the Parshiyot Hashavua stories in Bereishis were particularly and poignantly applicable to our current struggle against the accursed Hamas. Whether it was the destruction of the world in the Flood, Avraham and the Five Kings, the story of Yishmael, the struggle against Eisav, and so on. Now we've arrived at the last part of Sefer Bereishis, the thrilling drama of Yoseph and his brothers. Is some aspect of this story particularly important for us this year?

One connection is the historical precedent, in which Yoseph needs to be a king before the ascendancy of Yehuda. This foretells what our Sages tell us about the End of Days, when Mashiach ben Yoseph will precede the arrival of Mashiach ben David. I am about to complete writing a book on the Thirteen Principles of Faith based on the Shiurim of my esteemed Rebbe, Rav Michel Twerski שליט"א. In that book, a chapter is devoted to the mysterious topic of Mashiach Ben Yoseph. His major purpose will be to fight the wars against our enemies and bring Am Yisrael to its proper place in the world before the arrival of Mashiach ben David. While it certainly seems like the present conflict has the potential to be part of that process – only time will tell.

But I wanted to write today about a different aspect of the Yoseph story based on a masterful treatment I heard from one of my Rabbeim in Eretz Yisrael. It is noteworthy that many dreams appear in these Parshiyot. Vayetze begins and ends with Yaakov's dreams (and that of Lavan), Vayishlach has another dream-like encounter, Vayeshev begins and ends with a double dream (of Yoseph and then of the two ministers), and Miketz begins with a double dream of Pharaoh.

Not all these dreams are the same type, as there are two types of dreams: some with a clear message, like those of Yaakov, and some that require interpretation to understand. When experienced by a prophet with a clear message, a clear message dream is a prime example of prophecy. However, when the dream does not contain a clear message and requires interpretation, a crucial question arises: Who is empowered to interpret the dream?



A cursory look at Yoseph's resume yields that he was a gifted dream interpreter. That is how the שַׂר הַמַּשְׁקִים (the Chamberlain of the Cupbearers - gotta love that Artscroll translation) referred to him before Pharaoh. But Yosef studiously and forcefully rejected that characterization. To both the Ministers and Pharaoh, he insisted, "Surely Hashem can interpret! Tell me [your dreams]." (40:8). "And Pharaoh said to Yosef, "I have had a dream, but no one can interpret it. Now I have heard it said of you that for you to hear a dream is to tell its meaning. Yosef answered Pharaoh, saying,

וַיַּעַן יוֹסֵף אֶת פַּרְעֹה לֵאמֹר בִּלְעָדָי אֱלֹקים יַעֲנֶה אֶת שְׁלוֹם פַּרְעֹה

And Yoseph answered Pharaoh saying "Not I! Hashem will see to Pharaoh's welfare". (41:15-16)
 
Yoseph did not just answer Pharaoh. Note, the verse does not say merely "וַיֹּאמֶר יוֹסֵף", but rather says "וַיַּעַן יוֹסֵף אֶת פַּרְעֹה לֵאמֹר". 

This is not a meek answer but a strong and powerful assertion, "Heaven forfend, I do not have the power to interpret. Left to my own devices, I would not dare to offer an opinion as to what these dreams mean or what events they foretell. Only if the Almighty grants me prophetic insight will I have the right – and indeed obligation – to deliver the prophecy to you. Interpreting dreams based on one's own opinions and thoughts is wrong and dangerous, and I suffered from it greatly."

Way back when Yoseph was seventeen, he had a disturbing dream, disturbing to his brothers and, most of all, to himself. He lived as the orphan child of Yaakov's beloved Rachel, not accepted by the sons of Leah, wearing the coat of many colors that Yaakov had made for him. Without going into why the wise Yaakov did this, the coat earned him the enmity of his brothers, who hated him and felt threatened by him, knowing the history of their father and grandfather.

After all, Yitzchak had been chosen, Yishmael banished. Yaakov was chosen, Eisav was rejected. They feared that this fate may be theirs as well. Yoseph, by contrast, wanted nothing more than to be accepted and loved by them and thus led a tortured existence.

And then, one night, Yoseph had a prophetic dream. All the brothers (who were shepherds, not farmers) had bushels, and Yoseph's bushels stood upright, while the bushels of all the brothers bowed to it. One could imagine Yoseph, wishing he could just sink into the floor saying, "No! My bushel, get down! What are you doing? Let's get out of here!" But that was the dream, and as a prophet, he had to reveal his prophecy (and not be כובש נבואתו).

What happened next? — the brothers interpreted the dream, based on their own ideas and prejudices. "Would you be the King over us? Would you then rule us?", and they hated him even more.

This fit right into their preconceptions regarding Yoseph's delusions of grandeur and led ultimately to their conclusion and judgment that as a mortal threat to them, he was a רודף and must be put to death, or at least sold as a slave.

They continued to be so invested in their self-righteousness and confident regarding the integrity of their judgment that they were willing to see their old father suffer in agony and mourning for twenty-two years. Moreover, even when coming face to face with Yoseph as viceroy and seeing sign after sign that this was, in fact, their long-lost brother, they had such cognitive dissonance that they were utterly incapable of recognizing him. Such is the power of arrogating to oneself the right to interpret events consistent with your own worldview, closing your eyes to the possibility that you might be wrong. 

In truth, they were wrong. Not only about Yoseph's intentions but also about the dream. Their bundle bowed to his bundle – not to him. This was a prophetic view of the brothers all coming to Yoseph for bundles of wheat. It was NOT about him having dominion over them, but about his being the source of their livelihood. Yaakov knew better than to interpret. So his brothers were angry at him, and his father kept the matter in mind. (37:11) 

We are living through historic, momentous times. We have seen very sadly the results of our political and military leadership having an arrogant preconception that they would be able to tame the Hamas tiger by allowing Gazans greater job and economic opportunities. They were overconfident that whizbang super technological sensors and warning systems in the billion-dollar fence were sufficient protection; it folded like a stack of cards.

We need to learn from this how dangerous it is to rest on our preconceptions and assume that we know and understand everything. Indeed, there is much talk in Israel about the problems stemming from a false “conceptzia”, and a realization that much more humility is needed.

The need for getting Yoseph's message that “Not I! Hashem will see to Pharaoh's welfare", is even more vital as this process moves forward. Too many have already asserted their definite view that these are the birth-pangs of the Mashiach, that they know why this group of people was targeted, who was responsible (their political enemies, of course), and what the future holds.

We must realize that we don't know anything. Our job is to prepare the way for the Mashiach. To do chessed, to love our fellow Jews, and to spread the light and wisdom of Torah wherever we can. What will happen? How will the war end? When will the war end? Why did Hashem let this happen on Simchas Torah? We don't know.

Hashem will do what is best for us, for all of Klal Yisrael, and for the whole world. It is not for us to ponder what, when, and how it will happen. Rather, it is for us to do whatever we can, each in his or her own way, to win hearts and minds for Torah and thus bring about the conditions for Moshiach

Tuesday, December 5, 2023

Another Black Sabbath: The Light of Chanukah in the Darkness of War

We have arrived at Chanuka, believe it or not. The last two months have been other-worldly. It is hard to believe that the Yamim Noraim was two months ago – it feels like years to me almost another lifetime – prior to Simchas Torah. But arrived we have, and it is vital to take strength and lessons from Chanukah to help us gain from this incredible time we are going through. 

We are used to viewing Chanukah in rather simple terms. "The Greeks persecuted us, we fought against them and won, went to reinaugurate the Temple, only to find that there was only one flask of pure oil left. We lit it, and it lasted for eight days. Now let us party, eat latkes, and spin dreidels." In more yeshivish circles, the focus is on Chanuka’s character as the Yom Tov of the Torah SheBa'al Peh (the Oral Torah), which was threatened and then renewed and is therefore a time to rededicate ourselves to learning Torah. However, that alone does not explain why the Rambam refers to the mitzvah of Chanuka so superlatively:

מִצְוַת נֵר חֲנֻכָּה מִצְוָה חֲבִיבָה הִיא עַד מְאֹד וְצָרִיךְ אָדָם לְהִזָּהֵר בָּהּ כְּדֵי לְהוֹדִיעַ הַנֵּס וּלְהוֹסִיף בְּשֶׁבַח הָאֵל וְהוֹדָיָה לוֹ עַל הַנִּסִּים שֶׁעָשָׂה לָנוּ. אֲפִלּוּ אֵין לוֹ מַה יֹּאכַל אֶלָּא מִן הַצְּדָקָה שׁוֹאֵל אוֹ מוֹכֵר כְּסוּתוֹ וְלוֹקֵחַ שֶׁמֶן וְנֵרוֹת וּמַדְלִיק

The mitzvah of kindling Chanukah lamps is extremely beloved. A person should be very careful in its observance to publicize the miracle and thus increase our praise of God and our expression of thanks for the miracles which He wrought on our behalf. Even if a person has no resources for food except [what he receives] from charity, he should pawn or sell his garments and purchase oil and lamps to kindle them [in fulfillment of the mitzvah].
(Hilchos Megilla vChanuka 4:12)

There is much more to the story, but in the space of this short essay, I cannot possibly draw a complete picture. However, there are some highlights from Sefer Makabim that are important for us to know. particularly this year. 

In our day, despite the current unity, the underlying tensions are still very much there. If we don't learn from what has transpired, we will easily fall back again into the same terrible division.

After the death of Alexander in 3429 (323 BCE), his successors split his vast empire. In Eretz Yisrael, the Seleucid Syrian Greeks (Hereafter Greeks) reigned and deeply affected life in Eretz Yisrael as they sought to impose their Hellenist culture over a century and a half. That culture was intensely attractive with its arts, sports, science, philosophy, and worship of beauty. On the surface, Hellenists were fine and noble people devoted to the perfection of sensual beauty, human dignity, intellectual pursuits, and reason. However, as Rav SR Hirsch writes, "Hellenistic culture contains only a small fraction of the truth which will eventually affect the salvation of mankind. As long as Hellenism is not coupled with the spirit of Shem – as long as it prides itself on being the sole road to happiness – it falls prey to error, degeneration and decay… It limits itself to a superficial polishing and smoothing of the raw surface of one's personality and lifestyle… underneath the desire for pleasure and material gratification remains hidden. Hellenistic culture is a protector of rights and freedom. However, these concepts are arrogantly applied only to those educated in their values. Thus, their sensitivity and concern regarding themselves are paired with an enormous callousness and utmost cruelty towards those they consider the inferior, uneducated masses (Collected Writings II Kislev 2). 

Unfortunately, many Jews were only too happy to Hellenize and embrace the wonders of the new modern world. The Greeks appointed Hellenist High Priests, first Jason and then Menelaus, who paid handsomely for the position and assisted the Greeks in turning Yerushalayim away from the Almighty to Greek worship and culture. The Hellenists grew in power and influence, while the majority of the nation at first felt that the best response was to seek to contain the threatening enemy by compromise and nonviolent means but felt increasingly unable to withstand the insult to Hashem, His Torah, and His people. In 3591 (169 BCE), the accursed Antiochus Epiphanes attacked Yerushalayim and sacked the Bais HaMikdash, taking the Menorah and Shulchan and anything made out of gold, and emptied the treasury and storehouse (1,1:22). They then went on a killing spree, murdering over 40,000 souls and taking 10,000 captives. (2,12:14). They then built a fortress and gymnasium next to the Bais HaMikdash and brought an offering to Zeus on the 25th of Kislev on the altar they constructed therein. 

Mattisyahu, the great kohen (He was not a Kohen Gadol, a position the Greeks had sullied), after several terrible incidents of Jews being murdered, particularly for keeping the mitzvos, and, inspired by righteous women, gathered his five great sons. With the slogan Mi L'Hashem Alai", began a revolt in 3593 (166 BCE) that initially had little success. But one terrible Shabbos then occurred, in which over one thousand Jews who felt safe and in no need to defend themselves were killed. At that point, Mattisyahu declared, "If we continue on this path and do not fight for our lives and our Torah, we will soon be wiped from the face of the Earth. They then determined, 'Anyone who comes to fight us on Shabbos will be met in battle; we will no longer be killed as we hide in our safe rooms" (Makabim 1 2:40). 

Mattisyahu lived another year and appointed Yehuda as his successor. Yehuda and his brothers led a successful guerilla war against the Greeks, and after many battles and two years, they rededicated the Bais HaMikdash in 3595 (164 BCE). The Greeks were torn by battles within and war from other enemies and recognized Yehuda as the local Jewish governor, and the next Antiochus proclaimed that from then on, the Jews were to be left to worship according to their own dictates. (Makabim 2, 11:22). 

But after a short respite, the wars resumed. Yehuda and his successor brothers would end up being killed in battle. The Hasmonean kingdom was not fully established until Yehuda's nephew Yochanan/Yannai ascension in 3626 (134 BCE). (The end of the Hasmoneans was bitter and tragic, but that is a topic for another day). 

When reading this story in light of recent events, certain things jumped out at me. The great split among the people preceding the war, the severe arguments between many Jews who have adopted Hellenist values, those standing for Jewish tradition, and those somewhere in the middle; the willingness to get along with the Greeks for a long time until it simply became unbearable; the small band of courageous Jews, burning with a love of Torah, not being prepared to stand it for another minute; and the terrible black Shabbat that sparked the revolt; over one thousand Jews who felt safe (and in no need to defend themselves) were killed in their “safe places” – all these jarringly stood out.

 I am sure that there are lessons to be learned from the parallels to what we are going through, especially after seeing the flask of oil mezuzah that one of our precious soldiers found last week in Gaza.


As I write, the war in Gaza has resumed after the short truce, and tensions in the North are ever-increasing. Baruch Hashem, after undergoing a horrible blow, the nation has largely come together and united those of all streams, both in Israel and the Diaspora. We have come to a place of renewing our National spirit, although the war is far from over, just like the time of Yehuda Hamakabi. It is time to light the lights of Chanuka and reflect on their preciousness. Let us consider why these lights are "extremely beloved". Our Sages point out that the lights are there not only to stand in contrast to the forces of brutality and horror but also to illuminate how to bring the light of our spiritual heritage to the forefront. 

יַפְתְּ אֱלֹקים לְיֶפֶת וְיִשְׁכֹּן בְּאָהֳלֵי שֵׁם
May Hashem act beautifully to Japheth,
And let him dwell in the tents of Shem
(Bereishis 9:27)

We welcome the beauty of Japhet/Greece, as long as it dwells in the Tent of Shem/Torah. We have to learn as a people to keep this unity going even after the successful utter destruction of the accursed Hamas, unlike what happened in times of the Hasmoneans. Very soon after the initial victory, the Tzedukim and the Perushim (and other splinter groups) were at each other’s throats, and that hatred only increased until the Bais Hamikdash was destroyed eventually because of it. 

In our day, despite the current unity, the underlying tensions are still very much there. If we don't learn from what has transpired, we will easily fall back again into the same terrible division. We in the religious community need to remember to appreciate the good people and good intentions and many (by far not all) great things that the secular public has built for the good of the nation. However, we need to show them that they can be so much more beautiful and valued if illuminated with the Torah's light and not with Hellenist values. We need to light our lights outside, at the doorway, welcoming others into our world, and publicizing to the greatest degree possible our appreciation for the miracles that have occurred and will continue, B’Ezras Hashem, to occur. In this time of great darkness, the Lights of Chanukah, increasing every day, will lead us to the Great Light of the Final Redemption. 

Published in the Jewish Press December 8, 2023

Friday, October 20, 2023

Eight Out of Fourteen Hundred

War is a special time to be in Israel. It seems in so many ways like a different universe from the way things were just a little over a week ago.  I don’t need to inform my readers of the awful events that we have seen and the very real threats we still face.  I live less than five miles from the largest Air Force base in the North, and the incessant sound of planes coming and going is scary (but also music to my ears, as I appreciate how much the IDF is doing to protect us).  I also don’t need to make you aware of the incredible coming together that most (see below) of the country is experiencing, in contrast to the terrible hatred and arguments that were tearing us apart till so recently.  The outpouring of Chessed and helping and aid from all parts of the Jewish world, both within Israel and coming in from abroad, the great increase in Tefilla and Torah in solidarity with the soldiers makes one proud to be part of this timeless people.

For all of us, life will never be quite the same after this trauma.  Of course, we all hope that Mashiach will come soon. (It is hard to see how some of the current issues, particularly the terrible nightmare of the many hostages, will be resolved any other way.)  As my father-in-law ע"ה  would say, “We need Mashiach – badly!” 

If, however, Mashiach’s arrival will not be as imminent as we hope. Amost all of us look forward to the time, hopefully not too far in the distance, when life will go back to some approximation of the way things were before Simchat Torah.  There are tremendous efforts being made to help the many survivors of the attacks rebuild their lives and, eventually, their homes and communities.  However, for over 1400 families (so far), life will never be the same; their loved ones will never come back.  It is absolutely mind-boggling: 1400 families sitting Shiva, each with their own world of pain to deal with. (A list of many of the shiva homes can be found here.) 

We are all mourning for our brother and sister

Over the last two days, my wife and I were inspired to try to visit a few of these Shiva homes.  Our first stop, in Givat Ela, was at the home of Major Ilai Zisser הי"ד.  As an officer and member of the elite Sayeret Matkal brigade, some high-ranking officers and a celebrity were present, in addition to many others, to comfort his parents, siblings, and friends.  We heard of his heroism in fighting the accursed Hamas, as well as appreciation for what a wonderful and modest person he was, beloved by all who knew him.  We received thanks and a hug for coming and tried to tell them that he was the son of all of us; we are all mourning for our son and brother. 





The next stop was at the home of Bar Shechter הי"ד, who worked as a DJ at the music festival in Be’eri.  We met his sweet wife and eleven-month-old son, who must be wondering by now why Dad has been away so long.  She said that Bar had managed to escape and drive away but stopped at a police barrier that turned out to be Hamas in disguise, complete with Hebrew signs.  That turned out to be his last stop.

We then went to the home of Maya Fodor הי"ד, who went to celebrate at the music festival with her friends.  A beautiful girl inside and out, she was known for being selfless and helpful and making the world around her brighter.  Her grandmother from Tel Aviv could not get over her sadness and shock and the excruciating pain that it was to hear of Maya’s fate since she was missing – they didn’t know if she was alive or dead or captured by those monsters.

The home of Staff Sergeant Omer Bitan הי"ד was more traditional – the siddurim were there from the Maariv earlier that evening.  Omer had just finished his basic three-year service recently and was on his first tour of duty in Miluim (Reserve Corp) in the base outside Gaza.  Present was the Army Rav (chaplain), a wonderful Jew whose son is now waiting to enter Gaza in a combat unit. He told Omer's mother what a sweet person the son she lost was, and how much he was relied on and appreciated by his comrades.  His father Shimon was trying to accept that it was a great Z'chus that his son died by Kiddush Hashem, but asked “Why did it have to be so soon?  Could he not have been allowed to accomplish some more things before leaving us?” We cried together for his pain and loss; he was so grateful for our visit.

The second day went similarly in the Haifa region.  This time, however, I was asked by the Rabbinical organization Tzohar to represent them.  They are trying to arrange for a Rav to visit every Shiva home in the country, a gargantuan task that I was pleased to help with.  We visited the home of Michal Reumi הי"ד in Nesher, whose talented and stoic mother felt less connection to Judaism but was happy for the solidarity with her daughter who wanted nothing more than to relax and enjoy the Chag with her friends in her own way.  The father of Corporal Amir Ayal הי"ד was gracious and welcoming, very proud of his son, and very unsure how life would go on without him.  He described the week that it took to absolutely identify his body among the many corpses at the overrun army base as torture for him and his wife.  Daniella Portnoko’s הי"ד mother missed her terribly and was appreciative that so many had come to be with her but knew that the difficult mourning would commence next week when she will be left alone with her memories and empty house.  At the home of Itai Bonjo הי"ד we engaged in a discussion of who say kaddish – the father, whose parents are BH alive and well, or his big brother, who felt terrible that he could not protect him.

It opened up for us eight worlds of pain, each of which was such a terrible tragedy in its own right.  And then one thinks that this was not even one percent of the over fourteen hundred (and counting) shiva homes, and one is overcome with grief and despair.

A lot of work still needs to be done to repair the rifts between us

Lastly, I must, unfortunately, report that despite all the talk about the unity that is being demonstrated at the moment, just beneath the surface, the same animosities are still cooking.  All Israelis, and especially these families, are seething at the colossal intelligence and planning failure that allowed for a disaster of such magnitude to occur.  There will be investigations, demands for resignations, and angry protests.  One libelous and nasty narrative being developed (that I heard more than once and, of course, did not respond to) was that this was the fault of Ben Gvir and Smotrich, and by extension Netanyahu, because they had put up provocative sukkahs in Arab areas in Samaria, and then moved the bulk of the forces there to protect the settlers, leaving a woefully understaffed force in the Gaza area.  One mother was so upset by (another) visit from a religious stranger that she physically threw me out of the house and slammed the door. 

I have no complaints against a grieving mother who had an emotional outburst.  This slanderous narrative is, hopefully, only being adopted by the most extreme on the left, who have never for a moment stopped attacking Netanyahu and the government, demanding that they resign now as they are unfit to prosecute the war that is “his fault”.  Most of the country has come together; there are signs all over saying  ביחד ננצח “United, we will win”.  But I cannot help of thinking of the Torah portion we read this week and the Generation of the Dispersion.  Even when there is great unity, it must be built on more than one shared objective to be truly lasting and transformative.  A lot of work still needs to be done to repair the rifts between us.

 


One thing is for certain.  This war has changed things forever.  No longer will many stoically accept that which they feel is harmful to the country and their families – they will demand that the dangers, as they see them, be dealt with immediately.  I deeply believe that although the secular/left is to blame for the great majority of the hatred on display over the last few months, the religious/right has much soul-searching to do, as I have written several times recently.  Bottom Line — unless all sides in Israel learn to appreciate each other more and demand less for themselves, we are in danger of undoing the one good thing that this war has brought about – an increased sense of unity.

May Hakadosh Baruch Hu give our soldiers strength and courage and protect them from harm; may He bring the captives back to their families speedily. May He bring a Refuah Shelaima to the many injured, and consolation to all the bereaved families; May He spread His protective wings over and have mercy on all of us.