Sermons Vayishlach

Vayetze

Vayishlach

Topic :   Why is it so hard to be a Yaakov ?

Theme:  Good things are difficult to achieve, Hashem afflicts those who are close to Him to challenge them.

(Could use the Charlie Harrary Yom Kippur video about Partner track)

Quotes:

משלי פרק ג, יא-יב

 מוּסַר יְקֹוָק בְּנִי אַל תִּמְאָס וְאַל תָּקֹץ בְּתוֹכַחְתּוֹ:  כִּי אֶת אֲשֶׁר יֶאֱהַב יְקֹוָק יוֹכִיחַ וּכְאָב אֶת בֵּן יִרְצֶה

"God knows our situation; He will not judge us as if we had no difficulties to overcome. What matters is the sincerity and perseverance of our will to overcome them."   Lewis, C.S. 

"Success is to be measured not so much by the position that one has reached in life as by the obstacles that one has overcome while trying to succeed."   -- Booker T. Washington

Opener

‘tis the season when politicians come calling.   We have to pay obeisance to them, and them to us, to some extent.  This is the accepted practice of the game.  But surely there is some limit to how much חנופה one is permitted to offer.

And yet, we find that Yaakov gave חנופה to Eisav seemingly without limit.  He even said

בראשית פרק לג, י

 וַיֹּאמֶר יַעֲקֹב אַל נָא אִם נָא מָצָאתִי חֵן בְּעֵינֶיךָ וְלָקַחְתָּ מִנְחָתִי מִיָּדִי כִּי עַל כֵּן רָאִיתִי פָנֶיךָ כִּרְאֹת פְּנֵי אֱלֹהִים וַתִּרְצֵנִי

 Surely this is way overdone!

And yet, the Gemara seems to say otherwise, at least according to one opinion. 

תלמוד בבלי מסכת סוטה דף מא עמוד ב

דרש ר' יהודה בר מערבא, ואיתימא ר' שמעון בן פזי: מותר להחניף לרשעים בעולם הזה, שנאמר: +ישעיהו לב+ לא יקרא עוד לנבל נדיב ולכילי לא יאמר שוע, מכלל דבעולם הזה שרי. ר' שמעון בן לקיש אמר, מהכא: +בראשית לג+ כראות פני אלהים ותרצני. ופליגא דרבי לוי, דאמר רבי לוי: משל של יעקב ועשו, למה הדבר דומה? לאדם שזימן את חבירו והכיר בו שמבקש להורגו, אמר לו: טעם תבשיל זה שאני טועם כתבשיל שטעמתי בבית המלך, אמר: ידע ליה מלכא, מיסתפי ולא קטיל ליה

Questions

• Why would Yaakov do this?
• Why does Yaakov in general have such a harder time than Eisav – see the verse that we should all be familiar with from the Haggadah

יהושע פרק כד, ב-ד

 וַיֹּאמֶר יְהוֹשֻׁעַ אֶל כָּל הָעָם כֹּה אָמַר יְקֹוָק אֱלֹהֵי יִשְׂרָאֵל בְּעֵבֶר הַנָּהָר יָשְׁבוּ אֲבוֹתֵיכֶם מֵעוֹלָם תֶּרַח אֲבִי אַבְרָהָם וַאֲבִי נָחוֹר וַיַּעַבְדוּ אֱלֹהִים אֲחֵרִים:  וָאֶקַּח אֶת אֲבִיכֶם אֶת אַבְרָהָם מֵעֵבֶר הַנָּהָר וָאוֹלֵךְ אוֹתוֹ בְּכָל אֶרֶץ כְּנָעַן וארב וָאַרְבֶּה אֶת זַרְעוֹ וָאֶתֶּן לוֹ אֶת יִצְחָק:  וָאֶתֵּן לְיִצְחָק אֶת יַעֲקֹב וְאֶת עֵשָׂו וָאֶתֵּן לְעֵשָׂו אֶת הַר שֵׂעִיר לָרֶשֶׁת אוֹתוֹ וְיַעֲקֹב וּבָנָיו יָרְדוּ מִצְרָיִם:

·         Why After fighting with Yaakov Avinu all night, why did Eisav's Malach have to go that morning to sing Shira before Hashem. From all days, did this have to be the one?

·         Why were both Yaakov and Eisav crying?

Rav Schwab has a מהלך here that answers all this. 

Eisav is a person who wants everything now.  

What is the difference between the names yaakov and esav?

Esav = asui - done

yaakov = ekev - steps

esav is a "big picture" guy

yaakov is a "one step at a time" person

yaakov went back for the "pachim ketanim - small vessels"

and like he said to esav, "ani asnahala li-iti liregel hyiladim uliregel hamlacha asher lifanai - i will travel slow, to the feet of the children and the work that is before me".

Esav needs everything - even ruchniyus - now!!!

If not now, then fugedaboutit!!

Yakkov has the peace of mind, the patience, the foresight, the actual insight, to see every little piece of the puzzle...

Yaakov also knows that one has to go through difficulties, obstacles….he is not for the short term gain. But has his eyes on the bigger prize down the road of being a true oved Hashem.

Rav Yerucham Levovitz said that Eisav cried here because he saw his wasted potential.  He had grown, had 400 men, was rich and powerful, but when he saw what Yaakov had accomplished, he saw that all his greatness was really so small.  After all, he grew up in the house of Yitzchak and Rivka, and was a grandson of Avrham & Sara.  He knew what was real, even if he had been running away for so long.

Yaakov cried because עַל כֵּן רָאִיתִי פָנֶיךָ כִּרְאֹת פְּנֵי אֱלֹהִים וַתִּרְצֵנִי  .  He saw through the fact that Eisav understood the beauty of what Yaakov had accomplished, וַתִּרְצֵנִי , that the face of Hashem was even within Eisav, and could come out on rare occasion.

It was this victory that the שר של עשו had longed for all these years.  After all, the main objective of the  שטן is to put up a very difficult challenge, but ultimately to lose!   When we have been deeply challenged by Satan, but beat him, then the Satan has truly accomplished his objective.

The malach was created so that he should LOSE a fight. Eisav ALWAYS succumbed to his Yetzer Horah. The malach had a daily disappointment with Eisav. Now, for the very first time since his creation, the Malach was bested. He lost a fight. He fulfilled his goal! He is now ready to return to Hashem. He can now proudly proclaim: MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!

Eisav sensed his great failure, and cried.  (paradoxically, perhaps, winning to some measure at that moment).

And thus , it was not overboard חנופה , but showing a Rasha that he has potential.

For us, the takeaway is that rather than complaining iz shver tzu zein a yid, knowing that this is our privilege and pride.

To quote Rabbi Jonathan Sacks:

Yet Jacob never gives up and is never defeated. He is the man whose greatest religious experiences occur when he is alone, at night, and far from home. Jacob wrestles with the angel of destiny and inner conflict and says, "I will not let you go until you bless me." That is how he rescues hope from catastrophe - as Jews have always done. Their darkest nights have always been preludes to their most creative dawns.

Zis schver zu sein a Yid, they used to say. "It's hard to be a Jew." In some ways, it still is. It is not easy to face our fears and wrestle with them, refusing to let go until we have turned them into renewed strength and blessing. But speaking personally, I would have it no other way. Judaism is not faith as illusion, seeing the world through rose-tinted lenses as we would wish it to be. It is faith as relentless honesty, seeing evil as evil and fighting it in the name of life, and good, and G-d. That is our vocation. It remains a privilege to carry Jacob's destiny, Israel's name.

Sermon synopsis - Toldot 5772

This is something I should have been doing for some time, writing down my brilliant insights that I shared with my congregants, so that all the billions who read this blog can benefit as well.

Or perhaps so that I can have some sketchy record of what I talked about.

So here goes.

I began with some of the usual Jewish mother type lines, as in


~ “Mother's day, Shmother's Day - you just go to the beach and enjoy yourselves.”
~ “You don't have to call me every week - I know how busy you are.”
~ “Your father is a saint - you should only be just like him.”
~ “You are so lucky to have your in-laws.”
~ “Your wife knows best - forget about the advice I gave you.”

How about Rivka in The children agitated within her, and she said, ‘If so, why am I thus?’

point is made about what she could not live with was inconsistency - person being pulled in two directions.

In her case it ended up being two kids pulling two ways.

For most of us, within ourselves, there are forces that pull us in opposite directions, and our challenge is to make sure the good ones predominate.

Apt moment to talk about Bet El.  Looked at concordance, Bet El was place of great keduaha buit also the seat of Yerovam ben Nevat, of the anti-Holy.

The only way when pulled tremndously in two directions is ותלך לדרוש את ה'

Need Torah.   Bet El Yehsiva . Jean & Eugen. That is what makes Bet El such a beacon of light

etc

Rav Nosson Zvi Finkel zt"l and me . . . a hesped of sorts

I wrote this a few hours after I heard of R' Nosson Zvi's passing . . .

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Someone sent me these pictures today ,

a truly sad day as a very special man passed from our midst.   The pictures capture his life and its greatness, from student council President at Ida Crown in Chicago to the Rosh Yeshiva of the world's largest Yeshiva.   Different pictures but the same person; with growing aspirations who never stopped trying to accomplish as much as he possibly could with his limited time here.

There is much that was written, and more that will be written, about him.  One nice write-up is saw is here , which captures much of his uniqueness, (although there are a few small factual errors.)

I would just like to add my small words of eulogy, of the Rebbi I knew thirty years ago, when he was much younger and less famous, (though even then he was not in the best of health).

I came to the Mir in 1977 at age 18, after being in several other yeshivos, without a whole lot of advanced learning skills and motivation.  My "farher" with Reb Nochum Partzovitz Zt"l was a disaster. He asked me whether I spoke Yiddish, to which I replied "Ich farshteyt yiddish, ober ich redt azoy vee a goy".  I thought this was a harmless expression indicating that  goyim did not speak yiddish well, but he took great exception to this.   "A Yeshiva Man vos redt azoy vee a goy???!!!!!", he exclaimed, before indicating that the farher was pretty much over.

Not knowing whether I was accepted or not, I decided (based on some advice) to just come and find a chavrusa and learn, and "yihiye b'seder."  (Later I found that Mir really did have an open door policy, if you wanted to learn and were semi-serious, you were in).  So I arrived, my cousin Danny helped me find some basic things and introduced me to a somewhat bashful but very friendly young Reb Nosson Tzvi Finkel.    I found some chavrusos, and started going to his shiur.

At the time this was not considered any great honor – the main, world-famous shiur in the Yeshiva was given by Reb Nochum, and most people went to Reb Nosson Tzvi, and several other maggidei shiur, only until they were deemed ready to go to Reb Nochum.  Reb Nosson Tzvi spoke on a simpler level, and the attendance of the fellows was a little more haphazard.   But one thing that impressed me from the beginning was the intensity the Rebbi brought to the shiur.

Outside the shiur, Reb Nosson Tzvi was everyone’s friend.  At the time about age 35, he was in the Bais Medrash every day, and one of the more popular people whom one could approach to “talk in learning”.   To appreciate this, you had to know what Yeshivas Mir was like.

Mir in those days, and to some extent still today, is an unusual place.  In a certain sense it is not a “yeshiva” with a close knit student body, everyone learning the same mesechta, and a certain track through which people pass until they “graduate” or move on to the next  station in life.   Rather, Mir is a huge Bais HaMedrash with many people of all ages, some who have been there a few days, and some for 50-Plus years, young & old, bachurim and grandfathers, learning alone with a chavrusa or  learning as part of a chaburah that was learning “the yeshiva mesechta” or a myriad of other Torah topics,  learning at a fast pace or a slow one . . . just a great big cholent of many varieties that had only one uniting fact – they were there to learn Torah seriously.  (I understand that in recent years the yeshiva has become somewhat more formalized and structured, due to the influence of the Rosh Yeshiva zt”l, but it still is much more varied than the type of Yeshiva most are used to).

One of the things that made this work was that there were some budding Talmidei Chachomim who you could talk to in learning about virtually any topic – it was truly exciting to be around so many people who had accomplished so much in their learning.  One of the most popular was Reb Nosson Tzvi.  He always had a smile, always had patience, and always made one feel important, especially the younger Bachurim, like me.  He encouraged, helped and guided, and, without officially being anyone’s “Rebbi”, took it upon himself to give chizuk and inspiration to help us learn to love Torah and learning.

I was very fortunate that he took an interest in me.  He invited me and another fellow to be his first-seder “chavrusa” every morning, and the three of us would learn together until the shiur.  Of course, he was way ahead of us.  Also, there would be many who would come over to ask him to clarify a difficult point, or to “talk in learning”, at which time Mendy and I would just learn (or schmooze) with each other. Although I didn’t appreciate it enough at the time, it was a very special year that I had the great zechus to spend so much time learning with him.

Sometimes he would need to go somewhere, and he gave me the honor of being his driver in his father’s Volvo, and we had time to schmooze on the way.  On some of those trips he shared with me a little about the old days in Chicago growing up, playing ball, enjoying High school, and his first tentative steps into the world of Yeshivas Mir Yerushalayim.  I suppose he was trying to show me that he had been a regular guy too, and if I only chose to become a little more serious in my learningI could accomplish some things as well.  Occasionally he would invite me over to his home in the evening, and we would go through some of what he planned to say in the shiur the next day.  In all those scenarios, I experienced him as a relaxed, smiling, friendly individual who was interested in helping younger talmidim, with no airs about him whatsoever.

When he started to say his shiur, however, he would be transformed.  His shiur, consisting of his own chiddushei Torah, was of utmost importance to him.  Gone was the easy-going, relaxed older friend.  Instead there was an intense scholar, totally focused on imparting Torah with as much passion and force as he could muster, who now was totally engrossed in a burning desire for us to understand him and the important truths he was imparting.

At the time, my main focus was to learn from the shiur, mainly as a stepping stone to eventually be considered ready to be admitted to Reb Nochum’s shiur.  When that time finally came, he wished me well, and I began crowding myself, together with close to 100 others, into the far too small space that was Reb Nochum’s apartment to hear the famous shiur.  For a variety of reasons, I soon realized that I was not getting very much from that shiur, and was staying there mainly so that I could say that I was in Reb Nochum’s shiur.  I soon decided to go back to Reb Nosson Tzvi, with a new appreciation of how wonderful his Torah and teaching were, and how much I enjoyed my relationship with him and was privileged to experience his friendship.

I stayed at the Mir for about another year.  At some point I decided to learn Yoreh Deah, and dropped out of the Yeshiva Messechta, and also found myself going in another direction hashkafically.  Unfortunately I did not keep in touch with him, and saw him only a few more times, usually at the annual Yeshiva Dinner or some such occasion.

Nevertheless, I was thrilled to observe from afar over the years how “my chavrusa” had become the Rosh Yeshiva; pained to see the terrible effects of his disease; filled with wonderment in how he not only did not let it slow him down but seemed to give him the strength to increase the size of the Yeshiva ten-fold; and marveled at the world-class Torah figure that he became towards the end of his too-short life.

May his memory be a blessing for his family, for the Yeshiva, for his thousands of Talmidim, and for Klal Yisrael.

Initial Post

So, here goes, my official blog.    I am not quite sure why I am doing this, other than to give myself a publisher who will publish my material no matter what.   (Trying to get published is no fun).  So for the world to see, I can add my thoughts from time to time.


Will anyone ever read this?  Who knows.   I guess time will tell.  But it is a first step, anyway.